I tried time and again to get my sister to go to church with me. She did attend one of the women's ministry meetings with me. But, that was the extent of her desire to participate. Then three years ago, around the Fourth of July, I came home one Saturday afternoon and found a church flyer on the porch. I could see young people up and down the streets leaving them on doors. It was so hot and I was so impressed with that group of teenagers. They could have been doing any number of things on that hot Saturday afternoon. Yet, they chose to do a faith based outreach. It was touching.
Later in the evening my sister called and was telling me about the kids passing through her neighborhood that day. She was curious about this church and asked me to go with her and see what it was like. I was thrilled and was more than ready if it meant she would get back in church. So, we made our plans and attended Sunday morning service. I would probably have attended almost any church to get my sister off her duff. Things were really bad for her and I knew how much it would help to find a place to fill her heart with his peace. I had found something that was helping me.
I was however, a little apprehensive about this plan. It was a Pentecostal church and I was raised to believe certain things about those pentecostal people. I figured I would go a few times until she was more comfortable and then return to my little church. She attended a Pentecostal church years ago and said it was the only denomination she would really feel at peace with if she attended a church.
Growing up Baptist I was firmly ensconced in the idea that the pentecostal people claimed to have the Holy Ghost and they claimed to speak in tongues. Now that,according to the teachings I'd been bombarded with was against all our beliefs. I was taught that tongues were for the early Christians only. I wondered all my life why Jesus would give it to them and not give it to the rest of his followers.
Never mind the fact that in the course of my adult life I had visited Church of Christ, Methodist, Freewill Baptist, Episcopal, and even took catechism in the Catholic church for a time. I was a seeker. Some will say that kind of person just hops from church to church. But, there always seemed to be something critical missing. I would find a sense of peace and the worship was sometimes beautiful. I got some great Biblical teachings. I knew I had been touched and felt his touch many times, but I could never get past the feelings of unworthiness. I never felt the feeling of forgiveness. The guilt and shame always lay just below the surface. Something was always lacking in me or in the church and I knew it.
Salvation in a Baptist church at the age of 13 was beautiful. But, over the years I knew something was missing in me. I would feel the touch, the move of his spirit and then in no time I was floundering spiritually once more. That was how I lived over the years as I tried one denomination after another.
I was in that church that first Sunday and I knew within just a few minutes they had something special. The praise and worship during the music was filling my heart with longing and need. I was reaching out to him and the people in that church were doing it too, right out loud! I could hear people praying and I too had my hands raised praying silently.
I know that He hears our prayers when we pray silently, but, there was something so powerful in the outright prayers of these people. It carried me home and back again, time after time. I was seeking with all my heart. When the Pastor approached me and talked about the Holy Ghost I was a bit confused because of former teachings. But, I kept listening and learning. I was still reading my Bible daily, but, this time, I was finding that my understanding was growing by leaps and bounds. I started to understand Acts chapter 2.
With the help of Pastor Bowman, Brother Roberts and the women who surrounded me in prayer, I finally prayed, (out loud) and prayed through and got the Holy Ghost. It is the most incredible, amazing, peace filling, happy, extremely joyous feeling I have ever known. I was so filled with the Holy Ghost and started speaking in tongues. My entire body felt warm and at peace, relaxed and joyful. I even had revelations during my second experience. But, that is a story for another time. But, I knew Jesus so intimately in that one instance and I knew he was living in me. I was down in front of the altar. I looked up and around and my Sister was several feet to my left and she had renewed her gift of the Holy Ghost at the exact same time. She was standing there reaching to the heavens and praying in tongues. It was amazing!~
All my life I had tried to be good to people, do good works, pray and seek, all to find that something was still lacking in me. I was a sinner and the shame and guilt was there like a great shadow making me feel unworthy. Now I know without question that he died for me, for you, for all who will seek his face. I have found his grace in full, and it is the thing I cherish above all else. This experience was my greatest blessing in life.
I decided to get baptised. Again. Ihad been baptised in two other churches. BUT!~ But, this time, when Pastor said the words, " In Jesus Name", I felt the washing away of my sins. I came up out of the baptistry with my entire body tingling and I knew as I stood there I was a new creature and that I was washed and made whole. Made whole!~ Whole for the first time in my life. Joy filled my soul again, and I was walking on the moon. God is good and I try and encourage my loved ones to seek his face.
And without faith it is impossible to please him, for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him. Hebrews 11:6
If you are reading this I will say again; I started this blog so that if I pass on, my children and grandchildren will have something to turn to in my absence. It is my greatest desire that they seek his face by going to church and reading the Bible. But, my mother wished the same for me. I went to church after church, fell and stumbled and lost my way so many times. I know how hard it is to find your way in the midst of the darkness and confusion this life creates. The battle rages for every soul and every life.
Most churches don't preach the Holy Ghost experience and talking in tongues is considered taboo in most of todays churches. But, I would rather lay down and die than deny what I have been blessed with. I have been touched and filled by my Jesus and life is worth living. "Because He lives I can face tomorrow." Words from an old song. Words I now live by.
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