Finding...A Man of God!~

I've been thinking a lot lately about the Man of God. Not just the Pastor at my church, but, the Biblical Man of God. Men like Moses, Elijah, Elisha, Joshua, Isaiah, Jeremiah, Hosea, Ezra, and so many others. Men who took up their faith and walked in his light regardless of worldly influences.

Over the years I have visited so many churches of various doctrines. It took me almost a lifetime to find a Man of God in this day and age, who is committed to bringing truth, and guidance, that brings the joy and peace the Bible teaches. I have read my Bible over and over through the years. So many times I was tripped up by things that no one had answers for, or explanations that seared as truth in my soul.

Baptism is one example. I was baptized twice in years past. Once as a young teen in a Baptist church. The feeling of well being and the sense of spiritual purpose did in fact enter my soul. But, there was always something in me that seemed to be missing. I was filled with a sense of love for my God, and I understood that Jesus died for me. But, something was missing in me. I thought for years it was because I was just too unworthy.

The second time I was in my late twenties and the church was a very good church with an awesome pastor. This denomination used only the New Testament. I was at peace during the music services and the preaching did in fact make me want to try harder to be a better person, but there was still something missing in me. And, I knew it. I continued to believe that I was just too unworthy, and had lived a life too evil to be fully accepted by God, or to be forgiven. But, the Pastor was a very Godly man, and later I realized that he had tried so hard to reach his congregation with what he had to offer. He did an awesome job of teaching the New Testament. But, I knew that we are to use the teachings of the Old Testament to support the New.

Baptism this the last time was a life changing experience and and I was tingling and actually felt the Holy Ghost and rebirth as I left the water.

I would be in churches and out of churches. One church, sadly to say, I took my kids and visited three times and no one ever spoke to me. I went to the dinner after service the third time thinking I could get to know someone there. No one spoke to me. It was SO weird. I never took my kids and went back. Even my children said they felt it was unfriendly and they were still in elementary school.

Now, I know I was seeking, but, was lost as to what I was trying to find. That confusion, that outer darkness I was stumbling around in, perpetuated the feelings of loss and emptiness.

I am happy to say that I went to work at a Religious college. One of the Father's there befriended me. He was very instrumental in showing me the Love of God. A story in itself. I will tell of him another time. Suffice to say that this was the beginning of healing for me. Father Joe, what a good Man of God. The problem was that He wasn't teaching me the Bible, he was teaching me years of church doctrine developed over time and it was not easily found and applied in the Bible. AT least not for me. I did receive a touch during that time and it made my feelings of spiritual need more intense. I continued to seek.

To be continued...