New Years Resolutions!~ LOl

I have several resolutions I plan to try and work on in the upcoming year. One priority will be to post more to my blog. In May I had another EchoCardiogram and the test results were not so good. Not sure how things will go in the months ahead. So, for the sake of my children I will add to this as often as I can so they will have something of me in a printable form to use and share with each other if things go wrong sometime in the future.

Phillipians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.

Glory to God!~

I was listening to a radio program a couple of days ago on Creationism. I was pondering the message and it baffles me that there are people who actually think we evolve from monkeys, or lions, or rabbits, or snakes. hmmm

I did not evolve from a monkey, so I will try not to act like one.
I did not evolve from a lion, so I will not devour, roar, or destroy as one.
I did not evolve from a rabbit so I will not pro-create as such.
I did not evolve from a snake so I will not slither, poison, or defile as such.


I am a unique creation of the Great I Am. Made in His image as mankind is I hope to reflect his goodness, mercy, and compassion to my fellow man.
I am a child of The King, and will conduct myself as part of a royal family.
I am His and He is mine. I will remember this at all times.
I am Blessed to have found my way back to the foot of the cross, and I will rejoice without ceasing.

When He created the universe, the earth and all therein, He had me and you in mind. A Father who made a dwelling place for his loved ones.
When He breathes life into me on a daily basis, I will be thankful and remember this blessing.
When He sent Jesus to live, teach, touch and die on the cross, He had me in mind. I will be a blessing to those who have yet to realize his magnitude and compassion, and His love.
When He touches the world around me with his large and small miracles, I will be mindful and give thanks and praise to Him.

Glory to God!~
Glory to God!~
Glory to God!~
Glory to God!~

Recommended reading: Genesis ch. 1

"The Truth shall set you free."

Jacob and thoughts on the time of his death. (Genesis)

I was reading the end of Genesis ch48, this morning and I found a couple of scriptures that caught my attention. Jacob blessed Joseph's children, then blessed Joseph. Then in 48:16 he says "The Angel which redeemed me from all evil, ..." So, I looked at the cross reference verse and went to ch28:16. There it referred to the well know story of Jacobs Ladder. What caught my eye was the mention of the Ladder. The Angels of God were ascending and descending the Ladder from heaven, while God stood above and talked to Jacob. It made me think that Angels of God are 1) traveling back and from heaven to earth constantly,2) to do his will, and 3) they do not fly. Silly thoughts? Maybe. But, it made me stop and think. It also made me wonder if we will find quiet time, knowing that the angels are ascending and descending to minister to us, if we listen, can we hear the voice of God in our lives. I think it is worth a try to find quiet time with him.

The other thing I found in ch49 was after blessing Joseph and his sons, Jacob blessed his other sons. Then scripture tells that, "he gathered up his feet into the bed, and yielded up the ghost, and was gathered unto his people." He was blessed to know it was his time and blessed with the opportunity to give his children and grandchildren blessing and guidance. I don't remember reading this as a blessing given to any one else in the Bible immediately prior to their death. But, then the Ladder happened to only him too. He was blessed to be the inheritor of Abraham's blessing and that led to his being blessed over and over in his life. It led to his descendants such as Joseph being blessed and touched by the hand of God many times over.

I think of the events leading up to the Exodus from Egypt. Moses being saved by the daughter of Pharoah. Moses and the burning bush. All the plagues poured upon the Egyptians as a result of their imprisonment of the children of Israel. The Passover. The amazing parting of the Red sea , the pillar, the cloud, the manna from heaven, the quail, and the water from the rock. They were blessed with the Aaronic priesthood during this journey, taught sacrifice for sin, healings by direction and so many other blessings. The Ten Commandments. Direction for the House of God, i.e., the Tabernacle. The Sabbath. Laws to live by as an organized society blessed by God. The Covenant. Praise God!~ Moses blessed to behold God's glory.

Even modern day physicians use the emblem of the pole with the snake on it, which is also from a Biblical promise that occurred during their journey. Gong back farther into Biblical events we know that Abraham believed God's promise of his children being born by barren elderly Sarah, his wife, and so all of his decendants were blessed. Just the descendants of Abraham. But God had promised Abraham that all the nations of the earth would be blessed.

Genesis 22:18.
And in they seed shall all the nations of the earth be blessed; because thou hast obeyed my voice.

And in one earth shattering life, Jesus was born, lived, was crucified on the cross, died and rose from the dead. By his blood sacrifice, all of mankind was blessed. I don't know why all of this is on my mind, but, here it is and I just thought I should write it down in my blog.

Claiming these Biblical verses. Philippians 1:6 &John 18:9

Philippians 1:6
Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ:

As I drove home from dropping my granddaughter off at school this morning, I was listening to Adrian Rodgers preaching on the radio. The sermon was on having confidence that he will see us through all obstacles in our faith walk.

But, for me as I meditated on the words of this verse I found that it holds promise not only for me but for my loved ones as well. I believe that his good work in my life started at a very early age. And, although the battle raged and still rages over my faith walk, I have seen how God has placed his hand on my life so many times over the years. I have been through so many trials, tribulations and testing that it is a wonder my scars are not pasted all over my person. But, here in my 58th year I walk closer to him that ever before. I seek him, I strive to be the Christian I should be. I still stumble, but, the "good work" he begun in me as a small child has seen me through and to a faith place that carries me and will carry me on.

So, knowing this, I believe that the "good work" he has begun in the lives of my husband, my son, my daughter, all my grandchildren, and even my great grandson will be fulfilled before the coming of Christ Jesus. I have lived to see and acknowledge the "good work" he has begun in three of my sisters and some of their children and grandchildren. Other relatives too. I just did not recognize it at the time and only now can see these times were but beginnings. He is the "Alpha" and "Omega", i.e., the beginning and the end in all things. All things includes those he has called out, and I have lived to see him call out some of my loved ones.

I also realize they will go through good times, and those times of testing, trial, and or tribulation. He brought me through and I know he will bring them through too. Oh, what comfort my Jesus brings.

John 18:9
That the saying might be fulfilled, which he spake, Of them which thou gavest me HAVE I LOST NONE.

Even in the Garden of Gethsemane when they came to arrest him, he protected his sheep the disciples. I think this scripture applies to all that have come to him in their lives. After his blood was shed on the Cross his claim on his sheep was bound not only in heaven, but, on earth as well. So, all those loved ones of mine struggling to find their way will one day, now or later, find their way back to the foot of the cross just like I did. Yes, the battle rages on, but Jesus is victorious!~

Hallelujah!~ Hallelujah!~ Hallelujah!

The Battle rages; Daniel's prayer for the people...and his fasting.

Daniel's prayer for the people...and his fasting.

I was reading Daniel chapter 9 recently to study on a Daniel fast. As I studied I realized that what is commonly known about this had never really sunk in my brain until now. He was praying and fasting and confessing not only his sin, but the sin of all Israel. The people had turned away and were living wickedly, following the evil worship and practices of the Babylonians. Daniel fasted, prayed and sought mercy and compassion for God's people. I had tried to study this before, but, I was so intent on trying to understand the method of a Daniel fast, I did not realize the intent and impact of this Daniel fast.

Wow!~ I have found new meaning for myself in regard to fasting. I was always doing the fast with one or two motives for family but, never fully realized I could to an all encompassing fast for my entire family. I am so moved by this new found knowledge. He confessed their sin. He fasted and prayed seeking a move of God. This chapter has so much guidance for so many areas, he was visited by the Angel Gabriel, and it leads into chapter 10 when Daniel fasted three weeks and has the vision of the Archangel Michael. And, on and on.

Silly I know, when there are countless numbers of Godly people who know and already understand all this. But, I had always started with the basic information at the beginning of chapter 10 to try and understand how to do a Daniel fast. I had never realized that the Daniel experience started not then at the three weeks, but, sometime earlier as shown in chapter 9, when he confessed his sin and all Israel's sin.

Chapter 9:
3 And I set my face unto the Lord God, to seek by prayer and supplications, with fasting, and sackcloth, and ashes:
4 And I prayed unto the LORD my God, and made my confession, and said, O Lord, the great and dreadful God, keeping the covenant and mercy to them that love him, and to them that keep his commandments;
5 We have sinned, and have committed iniquity, and have done wickedly, and have rebelled, even by departing from thy precepts and from thy judgments:
6 Neither have we hearkened unto thy servants the prophets, which spake in thy name to our kings, our princes, and our fathers, and to all the people of the land.
7 O Lord, righteousness [belongeth] unto thee, but unto us confusion of faces, as at this day; to the men of Judah, and to the inhabitants of Jerusalem, and unto all Israel, [that are] near, and [that are] far off, through all the countries whither thou hast driven them, because of their trespass that they have trespassed against thee.
8 O Lord, to us [belongeth] confusion of face, to our kings, to our princes, and to our fathers, because we have sinned against thee.
9 To the Lord our God [belong] mercies and forgivenesses, though we have rebelled against him;
10 Neither have we obeyed the voice of the LORD our God, to walk in his laws, which he set before us by his servants the prophets.
11 Yea, all Israel have transgressed thy law, even by departing, that they might not obey thy voice; therefore the curse is poured upon us, and the oath that [is] written in the law of Moses the servant of God, because we have sinned against him.
12 And he hath confirmed his words, which he spake against us, and against our judges that judged us, by bringing upon us a great evil: for under the whole heaven hath not been done as hath been done upon Jerusalem.
13 As [it is] written in the law of Moses, all this evil is come upon us: yet made we not our prayer before the LORD our God, that we might turn from our iniquities, and understand thy truth.
14 Therefore hath the LORD watched upon the evil, and brought it upon us: for the LORD our God [is] righteous in all his works which he doeth: for we obeyed not his voice.
15 And now, O Lord our God, that hast brought thy people forth out of the land of Egypt with a mighty hand, and hast gotten thee renown, as at this day; we have sinned, we have done wickedly.
16 O Lord, according to all thy righteousness, I beseech thee, let thine anger and thy fury be turned away from thy city Jerusalem, thy holy mountain: because for our sins, and for the iniquities of our fathers, Jerusalem and thy people [are become] a reproach to all [that are] about us.
17 Now therefore, O our God, hear the prayer of thy servant, and his supplications, and cause thy face to shine upon thy sanctuary that is desolate, for the Lord's sake.
18 O my God, incline thine ear, and hear; open thine eyes, and behold our desolations, and the city which is called by thy name: for we do not present our supplications before thee for our righteousnesses, but for thy great mercies.
19 O Lord, hear; O Lord, forgive; O Lord, hearken and do; defer not, for thine own sake, O my God: for thy city and thy people are called by thy name.
20 And whiles I [was] speaking, and praying, and confessing my sin and the sin of my people Israel, and presenting my supplication before the LORD my God for the holy mountain of my God;
21 Yea, whiles I [was] speaking in prayer, even the man Gabriel, whom I had seen in the vision at the beginning, being caused to fly swiftly, touched me about the time of the evening oblation.
22 And he informed [me], and talked with me, and said, O Daniel, I am now come forth to give thee skill and understanding.


... and leading into chapter 10 does the three week fast start, and where he is blessed and encounters the Archangel Michael:

Chapter 10
2 In those days I Daniel was mourning three full weeks.
3 I ate no pleasant bread, neither came flesh nor wine in my mouth, neither did I anoint myself at all, till three whole weeks were fulfilled.
4 And in the four and twentieth day of the first month, as I was by the side of the great river, which [is] Hiddekel;
5 Then I lifted up mine eyes, and looked, and behold a certain man clothed in linen, whose loins [were] girded with fine gold of Uphaz:
6 His body also [was] like the beryl, and his face as the appearance of lightning, and his eyes as lamps of fire, and his arms and his feet like in colour to polished brass, and the voice of his words like the voice of a multitude.
7 And I Daniel alone saw the vision: for the men that were with me saw not the vision; but a great quaking fell upon them, so that they fled to hide themselves.
8 Therefore I was left alone, and saw this great vision, and there remained no strength in me: for my comeliness was turned in me into corruption, and I retained no strength.
9 Yet heard I the voice of his words: and when I heard the voice of his words, then was I in a deep sleep on my face, and my face toward the ground.
10 And, behold, an hand touched me, which set me upon my knees and [upon] the palms of my hands.
11 And he said unto me, O Daniel, a man greatly beloved, understand the words that I speak unto thee, and stand upright: for unto thee am I now sent. And when he had spoken this word unto me, I stood trembling.
12 Then said he unto me, Fear not, Daniel: for from the first day that thou didst set thine heart to understand, and to chasten thyself before thy God, thy words were heard, and I am come for thy words.
13 But the prince of the kingdom of Persia withstood me one and twenty days: but, lo, Michael, one of the chief princes, came to help me; and I remained there with the kings of Persia.
14 Now I am come to make thee understand what shall befall thy people in the latter days: for yet the vision [is] for [many] days.
15 And when he had spoken such words unto me, I set my face toward the ground, and I became dumb.

All this is just for the record, so I can refer back to my own thoughts on this later. Chapter 9:9,10 and vs 19 I claim for myself and for my loved ones. One note on chapter 10; Michael verifies for us that the battle between good and evil rages on and over us, just as exampled in the Book and life of Job. In the beginning of the Book of Job, the Old Testament tells of the conversation concerning Job that takes place between Our Lord God and Satan. Job Chapters 1&2. And I know, The battle rages...

We're all on the outside sometime somewhere...

Ephesians 2:19 (King James Version)
Now therefore ye are no more strangers and foreigners, but fellowcitizens with the saints, and of the household of God;

I was talking on the phone with a very good Godly lady friend over the week-end and we shared about those moments when you feel excluded. I was surprised when she told me that a young couple I know from her church got married. I did not know they were dating. I told her I was not part of the "loop". She told me she doesn't do Facebook because she sometimes felt excluded by various people. I told her I know all about feeling excluded. As a small child I learned that I did not totally belong to the white world, nor did I totally belong to the American Indians either. I am a half-breed. Back in the late 50's and early 60's that was almost tantamount to being black. I know that black people, or should I say African American, (don't know the pc term of today), have borne the burden of exclusion since early Biblical times. Heartbreakingly so.

I was born into a rural area of very poor white and Indian residents. Living miles apart there was a certain friendliness,borne of necessity, but, the social and cultural barriers were very real. I say necessity because in rural areas back then and even now, when times are hard or crisis hits you MUST rely on, and reach out to neighbors if possible. Some will ignore the social and or cultural barriers and do the right thing, the neighborly thing. Others will will stand staunch in their attitudes of division and indifference. I suppose this is true in cities as well, where large numbers of people are packed into smaller living areas too.

My feelings of exculsion occurred with children, and adults, from both sides of my families. Child taunts and comments, I now know were the direct result of their parental experience, and or social environment. It is so amazing to me in today's world to see countless people trying to research and develop their genealogies to clarify and document Indian heritage. wow!~ Sometimes it is almost comical. It is so mind boggling to meet so many people who will tell me they are the direct descendant of some Indian princess. Or so they've been told. The need to belong, the desire to belong, the longing for feeling a part of, is inherent in the human condition.

But, even with all the strides made in social equality when I walk into a room, I am not white in a room of white people. And, I am not Indian in a room full of Indians. I have experienced this in all aspects of living from the workplace to churches. And, sadly to say with the two families with whom I am related. I never quite belonged. Today at the age of 58, I am no closer to most of my family members on either side than I was years ago. I was never around many of my Indian relatives much while growing up. My sister M has the same problem as her situation was very similar to mine. I did not send out more than a handful of Christmas cards this year. I was too caught up in my personal drama to care. But, I realized it didn't really matter. I have no contact throughout the rest of the year, so, it is silly to stick out an olive branch once a year and get no response. And, I am ok with my decision. After all these years I am quite happy with my life as things are and my husband and children, are my world.

But as to the feelings of exculsion I have come to realize that everyone can have feelings of being on the outside depending on where they are at any given time. A white person in a room full of Asians, or Indians, or Blacks would or could feel excluded and visa versa. The same goes for people of a certain profession. lol. A prostitute would feel excluded in a room full of legal secretaries. A lawyer would feel excluded in a room full of wild-eyed, raucous bikers. A biker would feel excluded in a room full of white collar professionals and so forth. lol

So what am I driving at? All this babble about feelings of exculsion. Simply put, we all have hope in Jesus. I belong to him. His heart belongs to me. Even in a church where I don't know anyone and I may or may not ever get on a personal level with most of the people there, I still belong to the body of Christ.

There are churches that for whatever reason, be it social, cultural, physical, financial, or even differences in doctrine, or spiritual beliefs, I could never fully belong to the individual members and their given lifestyle, I am at one with my God. This is so crucial. It is the one true thing. This is the reason we are all here. I believe that the sense or feeling of exclusion is allowed to perpetuate itself so that if we are seeking him, truly seeking him, we will find that oneness with him. I fought so hard emotionally to find this place. In spite of exculsions, or whatever, I just keep seeking his face. Even when I felt excluded within a given church structure and it happens. I just kept seeking is face.

Hebrews 11:6 (King James Version)
But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him.

Romans 8: 1
There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.

Most of us when we experience the feeling of exclusion, tend to look inward. What is wrong with me? Why am I not a part of the group or experience? etc. But, if we are in Christ and not living for the world, and truly seeking to grow in spirit will reach the point where the feelings of outsiderism (my term), or exclusion, find that it no longer matters if "they" want a relationship with us. Oh yes, we are to be there for each other but, to fully rely only on him. This is a hard place to get to without a lot of prayer and serious study of his will for our lives.

1 Corinthians 12:27 (King James Version)
Now ye are the body of Christ, and members in particular.

This is not to say we should not turn to other church members or other Christians, because we should. But, just not to expect them to be perfection in every given situation. Because With prayer requests alone, a church can see a person through a crisis. A given ministry within a church group can be the crucial thing to emotional survival and physical well being. Such as a women's ministry for a mother in need, or a youth group or the men's ministry, etc. A Pastor within a church cannot be all things to all people. He is only human and as such, while called by God to lead, is still limited by the human condition. As we all are.

I Corinthians 12:26 (King James Version)
And whether one member suffer, all the members suffer with it; or one member be honoured, all the members rejoice with it.

I write this for my daughter and my sister. I hope and pray that when the time comes they will find this bit of thought processing to be helpful. I leave this as a prayer of words from St. Paul, for them, and the good Godly women, who are and have been examples of his love for me.

Philippians 4:3 (King James Version)
And I intreat thee also, true yokefellow, help those women which laboured with me in the gospel, with Clement also, and with other my fellowlabourers, whose names are in the book of life.

"...for they shall see God."

Matthew 5:8 (King James Version)
Blessed are the pure in heart: for they shall see God.

These words from the Bible are so comforting. For all those parents and grandparents out there who suffer the loss or separation from a child for whatever reason, this should bring comfort. Just to know these words of spiritual guidance spoken by Jesus himself in the Sermon on the Mount. Wow!~

I visited my best friends parents church last Sunday morning and this is the scripture Pastor Kirbo based his sermon on. Now, his sermon was about seeing God. He talked about how Moses, and a select few, such as prophets, had personal encounters with Almighty God. He taught how we should seek his face. He encouraged everyone to study and work at developing a personal relationship with God. I am being brief here as I am not a theologian and would not want to try and relay his entire sermon. However, it was a very good sermon and I could not do it justice.

But, my revelation this morning was in relation to my situation with BoBo and his parents. As to small children, I believe all little children are pure in heart. Most people would agree with me. AS small children they have not ingested all the evil that we as adults have compromised out minds, lives and hearts with. So it brings me great comfort to know that all the little ones, here, there, and everywhere, may be able to see the face of God. Perhaps they do. One cannot know for sure. But, it brings me comfort to think that they do and they can. It is for certain the babies and little ones who have gone on are now cherished in the arms of the Almighty.

It makes my heart happy to think that BoBo as a small child who is no doubt pure in heart, can see God. Oh, what a blessed thought. I would think that parents or grandparents who have lost a small child would also find great comfort in this verse.

My God is Able!~

‎19. Then they cry unto the LORD in their trouble, and he saveth them out of their distresses. 20. He sent his word, and healed them, and delivered them from their destructions. (King James Version)

I am standing on his promises. Believing his word in all things. My husband, my children, my grandchildren and my great grandchild. The grand kids have had their share of drama and crisis lately. My second to oldest grandson was jumped from behind while sitting in his seat in class last week. Both boys ended up in ER. The attacker was suspended for only three days. He is now back in school. I pray for the guidance in the life of my boys. Youngest grandson was with me at the doctor for a much needed asthma/allergy shot when the incident happened. The same day my oldest grandson headed for the doctor as he was coughing blood. My granddaughter is having problems with annoying health issues too. BoBo has had an off and on rash lately. He has been moving with his mama and there has been drama. My babies, my babies. My God is Able!~

Finding...A Man of God. ~2~

When I was in and out of churches it doesn't take much to figure out that I was living in a worldly place. I was struggling to be a proper mother to my two children and still living a wild life in some ways. I was making sure my children knew about God as best I could. I taught them to say prayers, especially at bedtime just like my Mother did for me. My mother used to read me Bible stories so I knew all the basics. I thought I knew enough about God. Oh, how foolish we can be!~

While trying to maintain the home life for the sake of my children, I was drinking and prowling when they were away for the week-end or the night. At one point I was working three jobs just to make ends meet. I did not get child support and I did not qualify for any kind of assistance. I worked day care during the week, did babysitting as needed nights and week-ends, cleaned house for a couple of ladies, and waitressed three nights a week at a local club. And there, I found a way to self-medicate. Alcohol is one the devil's greatest and most subtle tools of trade. It anesthetizes. And heaven knows that considering the emotional state I was in, I need something to dull the emotional pain.

From a childhood of confused roots I was also sexually abused by my Dad. Born to an Indian girl during the early 50's, and abandoned by good ole Dad while she was pregnant, I was a prime candidate for "looney ala halfbreed" from the start. She was a very wild and misguided young girl who abused her firstborn, lost her second child to the father, and gave birth to me in the middle of it all. In all fairness to Dad, she was too wild to be settled with him or anyone else. In just a few years she was forced by courts to turn me over to the custody of Dad. He had married in the meantime to a very good citified christian lady. I am sure she took one look at me and knew I was in need of proper civilization efforts. lol

I was used to using an outhouse, drinking water from a hand drawn well, and eating my veggies while sitting in the dirt of the garden. I spent a lot of time with my Indian grandpa at the time, and one of my earlies favorite memories is sitting there, eating cucumbers while he hoed his garden. I loved being at his house as did all the other children in the family. When our mother married an older man and became pregnant, we lived in our own little shotgun shack some miles away from dear Grandpa. Some of my earliest memories include watching my young drunken mother abuse my sister Jeannie. She wound hit, throw shoes, and we would hide behind the wood burning stove. I remember going to school with Jeannie and walking home from school cold and hungry. This is the mid 1950's please remember.

Grandpa was an Indian preacher so he was gone sometimes for days on end. He traveled to meetings all over the country. He would bring home a treat called sweetmeat and it was so delicious. I remember my older cousins hunting squirrel for food to eat in winter. I remember the smell of wood fire smoke as it haunts my memories of a wonderful Grandpa who simply could not care for all of us children on a long term basis. But I remember him with a loving heart. To this day one of my favorite foods in just a plain old biscuit. :) This dear sweet Man of God never learned to read, never went to church, but he knew to worship his Creator. He did it the Indian way.

When my Dad got custody I had to learn all things related to a White world. I do not mean to say that hatefully. The two worlds were as different as night and day. When Mom first tried to feed me spaghetti I thought she was trying to feed me bloody worms. My first restaurant experience she offered me a burger and french fries. I did not want any of that food. When the fries arrived I was so upset because I wanted some fried potatoes too. Five years old is too young to get specific with questioning in some areas. lol

My Dad's dad, Grandpa S., was very religious, as was my stepmother. While they were a religious family the demands on my simple culture shocked mind were just too much. Over time I did adapt to electric lights, running water, proper english, the food, and overall lifestyle changes, other things took more time. Emotionally I was still a little Indian girl missing her family so much.

The only Man of God in my life was this Grandpa S. and he was a southern transplant who really resented his oldest sons, bad seed, half-breed, born out of wedlock child. Were it not for my stepmother and her Christian grace, my faith would never have rooted in early childhood. I did grow up to be so confused by it all. She got sick around three years later and started spending lots of time in the hospital and my Dad took full advantage of the opportunity to start doing a lifetime of damage.

to be continued...

Finding...A Man of God!~

I've been thinking a lot lately about the Man of God. Not just the Pastor at my church, but, the Biblical Man of God. Men like Moses, Elijah, Elisha, Joshua, Isaiah, Jeremiah, Hosea, Ezra, and so many others. Men who took up their faith and walked in his light regardless of worldly influences.

Over the years I have visited so many churches of various doctrines. It took me almost a lifetime to find a Man of God in this day and age, who is committed to bringing truth, and guidance, that brings the joy and peace the Bible teaches. I have read my Bible over and over through the years. So many times I was tripped up by things that no one had answers for, or explanations that seared as truth in my soul.

Baptism is one example. I was baptized twice in years past. Once as a young teen in a Baptist church. The feeling of well being and the sense of spiritual purpose did in fact enter my soul. But, there was always something in me that seemed to be missing. I was filled with a sense of love for my God, and I understood that Jesus died for me. But, something was missing in me. I thought for years it was because I was just too unworthy.

The second time I was in my late twenties and the church was a very good church with an awesome pastor. This denomination used only the New Testament. I was at peace during the music services and the preaching did in fact make me want to try harder to be a better person, but there was still something missing in me. And, I knew it. I continued to believe that I was just too unworthy, and had lived a life too evil to be fully accepted by God, or to be forgiven. But, the Pastor was a very Godly man, and later I realized that he had tried so hard to reach his congregation with what he had to offer. He did an awesome job of teaching the New Testament. But, I knew that we are to use the teachings of the Old Testament to support the New.

Baptism this the last time was a life changing experience and and I was tingling and actually felt the Holy Ghost and rebirth as I left the water.

I would be in churches and out of churches. One church, sadly to say, I took my kids and visited three times and no one ever spoke to me. I went to the dinner after service the third time thinking I could get to know someone there. No one spoke to me. It was SO weird. I never took my kids and went back. Even my children said they felt it was unfriendly and they were still in elementary school.

Now, I know I was seeking, but, was lost as to what I was trying to find. That confusion, that outer darkness I was stumbling around in, perpetuated the feelings of loss and emptiness.

I am happy to say that I went to work at a Religious college. One of the Father's there befriended me. He was very instrumental in showing me the Love of God. A story in itself. I will tell of him another time. Suffice to say that this was the beginning of healing for me. Father Joe, what a good Man of God. The problem was that He wasn't teaching me the Bible, he was teaching me years of church doctrine developed over time and it was not easily found and applied in the Bible. AT least not for me. I did receive a touch during that time and it made my feelings of spiritual need more intense. I continued to seek.

To be continued...

Trials and a time of testing.

My son and my daughter are both going through a time of trials and testing right now. It is so difficult to walk through this world and still hold to faith. I keep trying to remind them that My God Is Able. I wish I could help them understand using the Book of Job to guide them that the battle between good and evil rages in their lives and in the lives of their loved ones too.

The battle is fierce and the Devil really does prowl the world seeking to destroy and he is vicious.

I Peter 5:8. Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour.

Yes... he will devour the mind or the body or even worse the spirit.

The two scriptures I offered for their guidance are:

Psalm 37:4,5
4. Delight thyself also in the Lord; and He shall give thee the desires of thine heart.
5. Commit thy way unto the Lord; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass.

It has been my experience the last few years that when a crisis hits, if I can just turn my mind from negativity and pray with the knowledge that nothing is impossible with God, prayers are answered. Some examples in my Book of Remembrances are when loved ones have been healed. He is so mighty, so merciful, and so compassionate. I reach out to him because I am only human and without his touch in my life, things get so crazy or complicated, or confusing. The mental and physical healing I have received has strenghtened my faith. The mercy I found has made me whole mentally and in so many other ways. I am a woman who has been loosed. I have found my "fix". I don't need to shop til I drop, or go out and party. I don't need to roll with friends, or battle the gossip wars to survive. I don't need a drink, I don't need what the world has to offer. When financial woes hit I am ready and have found how to offer it to him. My comfort comes from the knowledge that God is going to win the battle between the good and evil. My comfort comes when I stop and hold my heart and mind up to him.

So, as the battles rage in the lives of my loved ones, I will seek his mercy and carry the thought that I can now come boldly into his presence by the blood of Jesus. Boldly!~ I will carry the pain or heartbreak, or confusion, or complications to his presence. I do this daily. I will reach out to my provider, my healer, my rock, my strength, my fortress, my stronghold.

He provides emotional and spiritual guidance, as well as guiding me financially. My healer can heal the heart, mind, body and spirit. My rock can hold me steady emotionally. My Strength can carry me through those moments when the battle weakens me. My fortress is where I can hide emotionally and gain stability. My stronghold is there to protect me and to give me rest. He is all!~ He is Jehovah Shalom, my God of Peace. He is Jehovah Shammah, my God who is Present. He is Emmanuel and he dwells in me. IN ME!~

Desires of the Heart!~ and my Vision!~

I wish I were strong as a horse. I was very strong and healthy in my youth. I wish I had a billion dollars. I could do so many things like help with the new church, and help my kids, or, drill water wells in areas of the world where it is so desperately needed. I wish for a lot of things.

BUT, the desires of my heart, are far simpler and far removed from those things I just mention.

In Psalms the Bible says:
Psalm 37:4
"4. Delight thyself also in the Lord, and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart."

And in the Book of Habakuk:
Habakuk 2:2,3,4
"2. And the Lord answered me, and said, Write the vision, and make it plain upon tables, that he may run that readeth it.
3. For the vision is yet for an appointed time, but at the end it shall speak, and not lie: though it tarry, wait for it; because it will surely come, it will not tarry.
4. Behold, his soul which is lifted up is not upright in him: but the just shall live by his faith."

I do delight myself in the Lord. My greatest peace and joy comes when I am reading my Bible or during prayers or worship service at church. He knows the desires of my heart. I am working on a constant walk in faith, and now, the belief that he will give me the desires of my heart.

I have heard a couple sermons over time about the Habakuk verses and writing down our vision. So, taking these two segments of scripture. I am writing my vision down.

The desires of my heart are that my husband, my son, my daughter, my grandchildren, my great grandson and the extended families of my son and daughter all get in church. My Vision is for each and every one of them to find spiritual guidance, grace and redemption. My vision includes their repentance, and their receiving the Holy Ghost and Baptism of cleansing, renewal and regeneration. My vision is now written. I pray it is received.

Having read Matthew chapter 24, Mark 13 and Luke 21, many times over the years, I believe that the end is so near. I just pray that my precious loved ones are ready for His coming.

Prayin' my way thru the days...

There's been a bit of drama in my family. I obviously can't put all the details here in a public place on the Internet. But, were it not for my faith, I would be running around going' crazy like Chicken Little. And, I do not joke. I have to believe that My God is Able. So, I have been taking these things to him in prayer. I know that teens face so much temptation and peer pressure. They want to do what other kids do and fit in. So, there is a testing going on at the early ages. The battle between good and evil rages over my sweet young ones and all I can do is pray. IN all my praying the biggest worry I have is, I do wonder who will pray for my hubby, children, grandchildren, and other loved ones someday when I am gone?? I know my Mom prayed for me for so many years. I hope my kids know how much heart and faith I have invested in prayers for them and the grandchildren. I think my husband knows cause he lives with me. lol

In addition to the personal family drama involving my grandsons, my daughter has had her own heartbreaking situation.

Her Mother-in-Law had surgery on four discs in her back two weeks ago. After she got home she got sicker and sicker. Sunday morning she was back in ER so delirious she did not know who she was or where she was at. So ER evaluated and admitted her to the hospital later in the day. On Monday they did emergency surgery on her back to try and remove infectious matter. Later in the day the surgeon who did the first surgery admitted that during the initial surgery he nicked her. So, spinal fluids were draining into the area for the two weeks she was supposed to be recovering. Now tests have revealed she has Ecoli. At least they know what to treat and what antibiotics to use. What a nightmare for that family. Our church as been praying for her.

She has been in ICU. Yesterday they got her up and in a chair and she was awake for a "few" minutes. God is so merciful!~ She seemed to know who she was and appeared some better. Hers is not a church going family and I don't know what kind of faith level the family has or if they even have any faith. Scary to me to think of going through heartbreak like this without the foundation of having God in my corner.

My scripture for the day that is holding me in place is:

Ephesians 6:13 "Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be all to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand."

I sent this to my kids, grand kids, and others who are on my text list this morning. Oh Lord, how I hope that seed is planted in their hearts.

One bright spot in my week recently is that a young woman I send the scriptures to in the mornings sent me a reply asking me two add two more numbers. I did not have any idea for several mornings who the numbers belonged to. But, it sure touched my heart that these little acts of service are reaching someone. *Big smile*

Actually Ephesians chapter 6 is the reason I do what I do. Specifically Ephesians 6:16-17-18. My sword is the word and I am doing the best I can to see that some of my loved ones get a word thru the one techno tool they are addicted to. LOL Cell phones!~

The Power of Prayer

My one and only New year's Resolution is this: To Pray More!~ I do pray every day and several times a day at that. My Morning Prayer is the longest and most committed. By committed I really take the time to get into thanks and gratitude, as well as offering up my prayer list for loved ones. But, the prayers throughout the rest of the day and even bedtime are just simple conversations with my creator. Now, that is a good thing and it has certainly served me well the last few years. I've had some major prayers answered just by being faithful in turning things over to Him.

But, I know I can do better than that and I plan to pray more. Not, that I intend to become some fanatic living in a bubble of prayer and excluding the world around me. Not at all. I just know now that he answers prayers. So, I intend to use the Power of Prayer even more, to strengthen. sustain, develop, and encourage myself and my loved ones. I need to grow in my own faith walk, and I have loved ones who do too.

I've studied on Prayer using the concordance in my Bible.

I Thessalonians 5:17 "Pray without ceasing."

is good advice and I've made an attempt at that over the course of the last couple of years.

Acts chapter 6:4 "But we will give ourselves continually to prayer and to the ministry of the word."

I am not in the ministry but when I consider what happened in the lives of the Apostles, and the people they preached to I am encouraged to pray more.

Not many people consider this chapter. St. John 17. The entire chapter is a prayer Jesus prayed during his final hours. He prayed for glory, for the strength and sanctification of the disciples and he prayed for us, his church. In verses 22-26, some of my favorites, Jesus prays,

St. John 17:22

22."And the glory which thou gavest me I have given them: that they may be one, even as we are one:

23. "I in them, and thou in me, that they may be made perfect in one, and that the world may know that thou hast sent me, and hast loved them, as thou hast loved me."

24. "Father, I will that they also, whom thou hast given me, be with me where I am; that they may behold my glory, which thou hast given me: for thou lovest me before the foundation of the world."

25. "O righteous Father, the world hath not known thee: but I have known thee, and these have known that thou hast sent me."

26. "And I have declared unto them thy name, and will declare it: that the love wherewith thou hast loved me may be in them, and I in them.

Only after reading and thinking on these verses and pondering the verses did I see so many powerful words. So much information too. These few verses are packed with information about My God, his love, and his dwelling place, not to mention his plan from the beginning (foundation). Amazing. So, knowing how Jesus prayed, and knowing that having found glory in this life, I will strive to pray more and find more glory and watch for prayers to be answered.

Jesus prayed this prayer right BEFORE he went into the Garden of Gesthemane, where he then prayed for hours. I am so thankful this prayer is in my Bible. I take such comfort and encouragement from his very words. It means so much that in his final hours before his agony in the garden, and his sacrifice on the cross, he left this immortal prayer for me. I am so blessed and so are other followers who read and take his comforting words to heart. Ihad to study and reread the verses over and over to see his intent. I think the darkness that tries to invade my mind, sometimes clouds my perception in gleaning everything there is for me in scripture. So, again, I need to pray and pray and pray.


footnote:
If anyone reads this they may be wondering about the comment "having found glory in this life", I will wait for another time and post to elaborate on that one.

Brain dead!~

I am slightly brain dead today. I fasted yesterday and things went wild. Granddaughter got sick at school, so I went and got her and brought her home. Later in the afternoon, Dr. said it is a virus. So, she is here today and sleeping now. At noon yesterday BoBo and mama had car trouble so I hauled them around doing a few errands. It will be such a blessing in a few weeks when she gets a better car. Some days like yesterday, It is so hard to find "me" time. It was a bit difficult for prayer time aside from the running in circles all day. I ended my fast at dinner time as I was starting to feel weak and worried about a crash. (Crash is diabetic lingo for a bottom in low blood sugar.)

Hubby worked on pulling the trany from the Z71after he got home last night. The trany went out Monday night. We've had vehicle problems for the past two months. I just pray my way through. If the trany had to go out, at least it wasn't in the hard freeze or during the horrible winter storm a couple weeks ago. It helps to find the good in every situation. The weather is good right now, so hopefully he can get a rebuilt or whatever replaced right away.

The scripture that seemed to lift me up this morning was:

Psalm 27:14 "Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart, wait, I say on the Lord."

I also take comfort in the verse from

Philippians 4:13 "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."

Life can be so demanding, and circumstances beyond our control can sure hit hard, leaving us reeling sometimes. I ran in circles yesterday and aside from the struggle to keep up with everyone, I was wanting to be in prayer for my fast. I know that we are to go about our business as usual while fasting. But, a couple of my reasons for fasting are the kind that really need prayer and fasting. Lots of prayer. I have two loved ones who are going through so much emotional torture, I know they are under severe attack, similar to the story of Job. I can see the evil influences in their lives and I know how difficult it is for a young person. It is hard for older and stable adults to suffer a bombardment of emotional stress, but, young people don't always have the emotional tools needed to cope with these things.

I pray for their strength and mine as well. I need to be strong and that has been a true gift and blessing from my God. Since my open heart surgery I am sometimes weak and weary. With his strength flowing through me I am able to maintain and walk with them through some of the battles.

I started a new book a couple of days ago. I will get back to it later today and get a bit of physical rest. It is an older publication titled On Wings of Eagles by Ken Follett. I will try and post my thoughts on it soon. It is a true story and Follett is a great writer, so that should make for a great book. I am fortunate to be such a fast reader. I can blaze through a book in no time when I am hooked on the storyline.

I intend to post some of my older writings such as Poetry and whatnot here. So, be aware as some of my postings will be older things I am adding for the storage here on my blog.

Good mornin' world!~

The sun is about to shine through my kitchen window. The weather has been so much better the last few days. I actually cleaned the porch of Christmas and nasty weather debris and that makes me feel better. When things are in order around the house I feel better. Now, all I need to do is rent a rug doctor and do my carpets. I have a shampooer but the RD is so much better. I will wait until after next week-end to do the carpets.

BoBo has a birthday this week, and Rachel will probably have a party next week-end. If I wait we can do my carpet and then hers at the same time. She will probably need it after a herd of little ones tromp through doing the Bday thing with cake and goodies. LOL BoBo will be two years old. I am old!~ No gettin' around it. :P Greatgrandson will be two...Wow!~

I heard two awesome sermons yesterday at church. Pastor Bowman, as a Man of God, absolutely leaves me amazed sometimes. I don't think he really knows how insightful and informational his sermons are. I know he knows that he leads us as a flock and I know he prays so diligently for all of us. But, the spiritual guidance, the insight into the word that he has and shares is so uplifting and encouraging. WE do go from glory to glory as it says in the Bible, and there are times when I personally go from sermon to sermon. Sometimes when the world is crushing down on me, I can get so much strength and deliverance from his sermons. Lately he has preached on Faith, and yesterdays sermon really helped to build mine. Last night his sermon was on letting the worshipper out and it was a great sermon. Oh yeah, I got CD copies of his morning sermons for the last two weeks. I did not get one from last night because I think it was one of those, "you had to be there", kind of sermons. I wish Pastor had a blog page so I could go and pick his brain whenever. LOL

I broke my cell phone right before church last night so I did not send out a text scripture this morning. I will head to the cell phone store in a little while. Those things are so expensive, I hate to even walk through the door. I feel the money flying outta my pocket, tightwad that I am. LOL

My text for today, or later today will be:

Psalm 33:22 "Let thy mercy, O Lord, be upon us, according as we hope in thee."

His mercy sustains me and I hope in him. Simple enough? It carries me through a lot of the hard times. Times when I can't find my way without him. The beginning of this scripture, says we are asking for his mercy, but the latter part of this scripture points out that it will be dependent on our hope in him. It is a faith thing. To me it is all about opening our eyes to seek his face. I do believe that I gleaned that part about faith just because I heard an awesome sermon on faith yesterday.

Eye Opener!~

Hubby called from work in MW City, OK. Earthquake hit somewhere and bldg shook. I watched news and it was a 4.0 n the R scale, and it hit NE of Jones, Oklahoma. There were two quakes and the big one was felt as far away as Ada, Prague, and OKC. According to the news, people in the epi-center area were knocked out of bed, and pictures and dishes were thrown to the floor. Whew!~ It rattled my hubby and he is not rattled easily. Mr. macho man. I mean that in the nicest way. 4.0 and that is scary. I am so thankful that it appears no one has been hurt. I think of Matthew chapter 24 and Mark chapter 13. Oklahoma has experienced over 20 small quakes just recently. Over the past year or so, I have lost track of the number. But, it is growing.

My day started out so quietly and I had my study time. This verse below was the one that caught my attention. I needed the words to carry in my heart.

"And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." Phillipians 4:7

Time to turn it all over to him. For He is Able!~

Standing on the Promises!

The old song Standing on the Promises has been going through my mind the last few days. I hadn't thought of it in years. I guess it is to remind me that I do have promises from my God within his word. Some days I fly along and don't trip or stumble in my faith walk. Then the mind goes on a bender and I am flailing along caught up in worry, or worse grumbling about everything. LOL

I am so human. I get into worry about my daughters health or BoBo, or my son, or one of the grandkids. I worry about my hubby and his zealous work ethic. He works so hard. My magnificent mind goes overboard, the attack is on and I worry. I take some health issue and turn it into a life threatening issue. Then I have to head for the Bible and seek his word. I make myself seek him when those things threaten my sanity. By his grace I am sober, and clear headed.

But, sometimes the insanity of life and the world around me can sure trip me up. Maybe it is some idiot who cuts in front of me while driving, I slam on the brakes, and I want to shout at them. Or, it could be I burnt the toast. I can take these things and run amuck. Some trivial thing (when I lose my perspective), can send me reeling into a mind bender.

Even the local or world news can be enough for most of us. It is so heart wrenching to see and hear the news about Haiti for example. I pray for the people of Haiti. I pray for his mercy and grace over there amid the colossal devastation. I realize that my silly little dramas are so minuscule in comparison with the devastation those poor souls face right now. I know that some of this comes from Matthew chapter 24. I am aware...

I know that evil is at work and on the attack all around me but God will triumph. My text message this morning was:

I John 4:4 "Ye are of God little children, and have overcome them: because greater is he that is in you, than he that is in the world."

This section in I John, is about facing the spirit of the Anti-Christ in the world around us. But, it also applies to life on a daily basis. We all have heard the words greater is he that is in me, than he that is in the world. Today I choose to remember that the Spirit of my Saviour, Jesus, lives within me and He is greater. Greater than any illness, or attack of the mind. He is greater than any environmental devastation the world may be facing. He is greater than any physical or mental adversity I or we might face. I know He is Able and I am standing on his promises. In the immortal words, "We shall overcome", I am lifted up.

Hope!~

With everything in life sometimes running amuck, I can find hope and encouragement in my Bible. My daughter is having health issues, my oldest grandson is struggling in so many areas, and my son has things that I worry over too. I pray about these things every day, but, sometimes I struggle with my faith walk. My extended family has so many issues they are in turmoil over, that it is so hard to reach them. Not only that, many of my extended family on the Native American side, because of their cultural differences, do not take Biblical teachings seriously, nor do they care to learn how to live a Christian life. I think I may be the only person in my immediate family who reads the Bible on a regular basis. I do know that my daughter and my granddaughter pray on a daily basis. I choose to believe that my son does too. Most people only pray when things are going bad or they have a rough patch. Today the words from Romans 15:4 gave me comfort.

Romans 15:4 "For whatsoever things were written aforetime were written for our learning, that we through patience and comfort of the scriptures might have hope. "

I take a great deal of comfort by reading my Bible and focusing on scripture almost every day. This verse reminds me to hope in the Lord and in his Word!~

So, to those of you who get a texted scripture from me now know, it is how I reach some of my dearly loved family and friends. At my ripe old age of 57, I use the text mode on my phone to reach out and touch someone.