I have several resolutions I plan to try and work on in the upcoming year. One priority will be to post more to my blog. In May I had another EchoCardiogram and the test results were not so good. Not sure how things will go in the months ahead. So, for the sake of my children I will add to this as often as I can so they will have something of me in a printable form to use and share with each other if things go wrong sometime in the future.
Phillipians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.
Showing posts with label Family thoughts one day at a time. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Family thoughts one day at a time. Show all posts
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Albert is going home today!~ Praise The Lord!~
My niece Samantha has been through so much the last few months. Her mom, my sister Nancy passed away on September 23rd. The day we went to make funeral arrangements for Nancy, Sam's husband ended up in the hospital with pneumonia. He got better and was doing good for several weeks. Last Saturday he ended up back in the hospital with pneumonia again. He is getting out of the hospital again today. I know the emotional burden Sam has carried during the last few months of her young life has been great. I am so thankful for prayer partners who believed with me this past few days. Albert is going home and has been blessed. Praise God!~ My God is Able!~
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
How time flies...
Today is my oldest grandson J's 22nd birthday. It boggles my mind that he is that old and that I too am so much older. He has a little boy, my BoBo who just turned three the end of last month.
AS is routinely said, I do remember when. I remember when he could not go to sleep and asked if he could sleep with me. J was the first one to call me Mema. A name that is known by all of the grandkids and everyone they associate with too. Even other kids' parents call me Mema. I can remember He was the one who was always dragging some friend home for supper, or to spend the night, or the week-end, or a few days. He was always trying to rescue some kid. He was big for his age and it was a real hindrance when he was very little. Everyone tried to treat him like he was older. But, after he got in school it was a blessing. Most of the bullies left him alone, and if a bully was tormenting someone he would rush to the rescue.
In his teen years he developed attitude and anger issues.(He is really working on that one). I guess all teens do that to some degree or other. His just lasted longer than most. lol In his teens He was always the one who wanted to rescue friends that were in trouble with life or friends, or parents. Even now, one of his best friends is a kid a few years younger who spent so much time at our house when he was little, he did not know we were not his grandparents. lol He even helped this one get a job a couple months ago with the company where he works .
He's always been very social. In fact it was a bit to his downfall. Too busy wanting to socialize to study. Now, it is a part of his life and who he is today. He still spends a lot of his free time trying to take care of his friends.
I wish so many things for him and his family. I so wish that he would get back in church. he went all the time when he was younger. Then as a teen he did not want to go and I made him. In fact, even if he had someone over on Saturday night, and he did all the time, I made him and his visiting friend(s) go to church. He told me that is why he doesn't go now. We all know the excuses.
But, I have to believe that those few times those kids went to church may someday help them survive in a time of crisis. And, I believe that at some point he too will find his way back to the foot of the cross. One thing is for sure, He knows the truth and someday, even if I have gone on, he will know where to look to find himself. And where to go to find me and how to get there. :)
In the meantime, I just keep praying for him, for his baby, my BoBo, and Baby Mamma. A Grandmothers prayer!~
AS is routinely said, I do remember when. I remember when he could not go to sleep and asked if he could sleep with me. J was the first one to call me Mema. A name that is known by all of the grandkids and everyone they associate with too. Even other kids' parents call me Mema. I can remember He was the one who was always dragging some friend home for supper, or to spend the night, or the week-end, or a few days. He was always trying to rescue some kid. He was big for his age and it was a real hindrance when he was very little. Everyone tried to treat him like he was older. But, after he got in school it was a blessing. Most of the bullies left him alone, and if a bully was tormenting someone he would rush to the rescue.
In his teen years he developed attitude and anger issues.(He is really working on that one). I guess all teens do that to some degree or other. His just lasted longer than most. lol In his teens He was always the one who wanted to rescue friends that were in trouble with life or friends, or parents. Even now, one of his best friends is a kid a few years younger who spent so much time at our house when he was little, he did not know we were not his grandparents. lol He even helped this one get a job a couple months ago with the company where he works .
He's always been very social. In fact it was a bit to his downfall. Too busy wanting to socialize to study. Now, it is a part of his life and who he is today. He still spends a lot of his free time trying to take care of his friends.
I wish so many things for him and his family. I so wish that he would get back in church. he went all the time when he was younger. Then as a teen he did not want to go and I made him. In fact, even if he had someone over on Saturday night, and he did all the time, I made him and his visiting friend(s) go to church. He told me that is why he doesn't go now. We all know the excuses.
But, I have to believe that those few times those kids went to church may someday help them survive in a time of crisis. And, I believe that at some point he too will find his way back to the foot of the cross. One thing is for sure, He knows the truth and someday, even if I have gone on, he will know where to look to find himself. And where to go to find me and how to get there. :)
In the meantime, I just keep praying for him, for his baby, my BoBo, and Baby Mamma. A Grandmothers prayer!~
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Claiming these Biblical verses. Philippians 1:6 &John 18:9
Philippians 1:6
Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ:
As I drove home from dropping my granddaughter off at school this morning, I was listening to Adrian Rodgers preaching on the radio. The sermon was on having confidence that he will see us through all obstacles in our faith walk.
But, for me as I meditated on the words of this verse I found that it holds promise not only for me but for my loved ones as well. I believe that his good work in my life started at a very early age. And, although the battle raged and still rages over my faith walk, I have seen how God has placed his hand on my life so many times over the years. I have been through so many trials, tribulations and testing that it is a wonder my scars are not pasted all over my person. But, here in my 58th year I walk closer to him that ever before. I seek him, I strive to be the Christian I should be. I still stumble, but, the "good work" he begun in me as a small child has seen me through and to a faith place that carries me and will carry me on.
So, knowing this, I believe that the "good work" he has begun in the lives of my husband, my son, my daughter, all my grandchildren, and even my great grandson will be fulfilled before the coming of Christ Jesus. I have lived to see and acknowledge the "good work" he has begun in three of my sisters and some of their children and grandchildren. Other relatives too. I just did not recognize it at the time and only now can see these times were but beginnings. He is the "Alpha" and "Omega", i.e., the beginning and the end in all things. All things includes those he has called out, and I have lived to see him call out some of my loved ones.
I also realize they will go through good times, and those times of testing, trial, and or tribulation. He brought me through and I know he will bring them through too. Oh, what comfort my Jesus brings.
John 18:9
That the saying might be fulfilled, which he spake, Of them which thou gavest me HAVE I LOST NONE.
Even in the Garden of Gethsemane when they came to arrest him, he protected his sheep the disciples. I think this scripture applies to all that have come to him in their lives. After his blood was shed on the Cross his claim on his sheep was bound not only in heaven, but, on earth as well. So, all those loved ones of mine struggling to find their way will one day, now or later, find their way back to the foot of the cross just like I did. Yes, the battle rages on, but Jesus is victorious!~
Hallelujah!~ Hallelujah!~ Hallelujah!
Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ:
As I drove home from dropping my granddaughter off at school this morning, I was listening to Adrian Rodgers preaching on the radio. The sermon was on having confidence that he will see us through all obstacles in our faith walk.
But, for me as I meditated on the words of this verse I found that it holds promise not only for me but for my loved ones as well. I believe that his good work in my life started at a very early age. And, although the battle raged and still rages over my faith walk, I have seen how God has placed his hand on my life so many times over the years. I have been through so many trials, tribulations and testing that it is a wonder my scars are not pasted all over my person. But, here in my 58th year I walk closer to him that ever before. I seek him, I strive to be the Christian I should be. I still stumble, but, the "good work" he begun in me as a small child has seen me through and to a faith place that carries me and will carry me on.
So, knowing this, I believe that the "good work" he has begun in the lives of my husband, my son, my daughter, all my grandchildren, and even my great grandson will be fulfilled before the coming of Christ Jesus. I have lived to see and acknowledge the "good work" he has begun in three of my sisters and some of their children and grandchildren. Other relatives too. I just did not recognize it at the time and only now can see these times were but beginnings. He is the "Alpha" and "Omega", i.e., the beginning and the end in all things. All things includes those he has called out, and I have lived to see him call out some of my loved ones.
I also realize they will go through good times, and those times of testing, trial, and or tribulation. He brought me through and I know he will bring them through too. Oh, what comfort my Jesus brings.
John 18:9
That the saying might be fulfilled, which he spake, Of them which thou gavest me HAVE I LOST NONE.
Even in the Garden of Gethsemane when they came to arrest him, he protected his sheep the disciples. I think this scripture applies to all that have come to him in their lives. After his blood was shed on the Cross his claim on his sheep was bound not only in heaven, but, on earth as well. So, all those loved ones of mine struggling to find their way will one day, now or later, find their way back to the foot of the cross just like I did. Yes, the battle rages on, but Jesus is victorious!~
Hallelujah!~ Hallelujah!~ Hallelujah!
Monday, January 10, 2011
I saw BoBo today!~
I saw BoBo today and it was such a blessing and answer to my prayers. The kids needed something that only I could provide so Baby Daddy called me. A signed piece of paper showing ownership to a vehicle motor. I happily and nicely agreed to give them what they needed. When Baby Daddy came I was pleased to see Baby Mama and BoBo at the door with him. I waited a couple of minutes after they came in and then I took His Mama by the hands and hugged her. I made the apology and prayed that God would recognize my peacemaking efforts. I would like to think that others would see me as a child of God. :)
Matthew 5:9 (King James Version)
Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God.
It was in my own best interests and in BoBo's to apologize even though it was all started when she verbally jumped me here in my own home. Still, I lost my patience that day, so what really matters is that we have some sort of peace. BoBo did not want to leave, they did not offer to let him stay, and I did not ask. But, for now I know I saw him for over thirty minutes, he saw me and that has to be enough for the moment. It was an answer to my prayers.
My God is Able!~ Today I really rejoice and give him all the glory!~
Matthew 5:9 (King James Version)
Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God.
It was in my own best interests and in BoBo's to apologize even though it was all started when she verbally jumped me here in my own home. Still, I lost my patience that day, so what really matters is that we have some sort of peace. BoBo did not want to leave, they did not offer to let him stay, and I did not ask. But, for now I know I saw him for over thirty minutes, he saw me and that has to be enough for the moment. It was an answer to my prayers.
My God is Able!~ Today I really rejoice and give him all the glory!~
We're all on the outside sometime somewhere...
Ephesians 2:19 (King James Version)
Now therefore ye are no more strangers and foreigners, but fellowcitizens with the saints, and of the household of God;
I was talking on the phone with a very good Godly lady friend over the week-end and we shared about those moments when you feel excluded. I was surprised when she told me that a young couple I know from her church got married. I did not know they were dating. I told her I was not part of the "loop". She told me she doesn't do Facebook because she sometimes felt excluded by various people. I told her I know all about feeling excluded. As a small child I learned that I did not totally belong to the white world, nor did I totally belong to the American Indians either. I am a half-breed. Back in the late 50's and early 60's that was almost tantamount to being black. I know that black people, or should I say African American, (don't know the pc term of today), have borne the burden of exclusion since early Biblical times. Heartbreakingly so.
I was born into a rural area of very poor white and Indian residents. Living miles apart there was a certain friendliness,borne of necessity, but, the social and cultural barriers were very real. I say necessity because in rural areas back then and even now, when times are hard or crisis hits you MUST rely on, and reach out to neighbors if possible. Some will ignore the social and or cultural barriers and do the right thing, the neighborly thing. Others will will stand staunch in their attitudes of division and indifference. I suppose this is true in cities as well, where large numbers of people are packed into smaller living areas too.
My feelings of exculsion occurred with children, and adults, from both sides of my families. Child taunts and comments, I now know were the direct result of their parental experience, and or social environment. It is so amazing to me in today's world to see countless people trying to research and develop their genealogies to clarify and document Indian heritage. wow!~ Sometimes it is almost comical. It is so mind boggling to meet so many people who will tell me they are the direct descendant of some Indian princess. Or so they've been told. The need to belong, the desire to belong, the longing for feeling a part of, is inherent in the human condition.
But, even with all the strides made in social equality when I walk into a room, I am not white in a room of white people. And, I am not Indian in a room full of Indians. I have experienced this in all aspects of living from the workplace to churches. And, sadly to say with the two families with whom I am related. I never quite belonged. Today at the age of 58, I am no closer to most of my family members on either side than I was years ago. I was never around many of my Indian relatives much while growing up. My sister M has the same problem as her situation was very similar to mine. I did not send out more than a handful of Christmas cards this year. I was too caught up in my personal drama to care. But, I realized it didn't really matter. I have no contact throughout the rest of the year, so, it is silly to stick out an olive branch once a year and get no response. And, I am ok with my decision. After all these years I am quite happy with my life as things are and my husband and children, are my world.
But as to the feelings of exculsion I have come to realize that everyone can have feelings of being on the outside depending on where they are at any given time. A white person in a room full of Asians, or Indians, or Blacks would or could feel excluded and visa versa. The same goes for people of a certain profession. lol. A prostitute would feel excluded in a room full of legal secretaries. A lawyer would feel excluded in a room full of wild-eyed, raucous bikers. A biker would feel excluded in a room full of white collar professionals and so forth. lol
So what am I driving at? All this babble about feelings of exculsion. Simply put, we all have hope in Jesus. I belong to him. His heart belongs to me. Even in a church where I don't know anyone and I may or may not ever get on a personal level with most of the people there, I still belong to the body of Christ.
There are churches that for whatever reason, be it social, cultural, physical, financial, or even differences in doctrine, or spiritual beliefs, I could never fully belong to the individual members and their given lifestyle, I am at one with my God. This is so crucial. It is the one true thing. This is the reason we are all here. I believe that the sense or feeling of exclusion is allowed to perpetuate itself so that if we are seeking him, truly seeking him, we will find that oneness with him. I fought so hard emotionally to find this place. In spite of exculsions, or whatever, I just keep seeking his face. Even when I felt excluded within a given church structure and it happens. I just kept seeking is face.
Hebrews 11:6 (King James Version)
But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him.
Romans 8: 1
There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.
Now ye are the body of Christ, and members in particular.
This is not to say we should not turn to other church members or other Christians, because we should. But, just not to expect them to be perfection in every given situation. Because With prayer requests alone, a church can see a person through a crisis. A given ministry within a church group can be the crucial thing to emotional survival and physical well being. Such as a women's ministry for a mother in need, or a youth group or the men's ministry, etc. A Pastor within a church cannot be all things to all people. He is only human and as such, while called by God to lead, is still limited by the human condition. As we all are.
I Corinthians 12:26 (King James Version)
And whether one member suffer, all the members suffer with it; or one member be honoured, all the members rejoice with it.
And I intreat thee also, true yokefellow, help those women which laboured with me in the gospel, with Clement also, and with other my fellowlabourers, whose names are in the book of life.
Now therefore ye are no more strangers and foreigners, but fellowcitizens with the saints, and of the household of God;
I was talking on the phone with a very good Godly lady friend over the week-end and we shared about those moments when you feel excluded. I was surprised when she told me that a young couple I know from her church got married. I did not know they were dating. I told her I was not part of the "loop". She told me she doesn't do Facebook because she sometimes felt excluded by various people. I told her I know all about feeling excluded. As a small child I learned that I did not totally belong to the white world, nor did I totally belong to the American Indians either. I am a half-breed. Back in the late 50's and early 60's that was almost tantamount to being black. I know that black people, or should I say African American, (don't know the pc term of today), have borne the burden of exclusion since early Biblical times. Heartbreakingly so.
I was born into a rural area of very poor white and Indian residents. Living miles apart there was a certain friendliness,borne of necessity, but, the social and cultural barriers were very real. I say necessity because in rural areas back then and even now, when times are hard or crisis hits you MUST rely on, and reach out to neighbors if possible. Some will ignore the social and or cultural barriers and do the right thing, the neighborly thing. Others will will stand staunch in their attitudes of division and indifference. I suppose this is true in cities as well, where large numbers of people are packed into smaller living areas too.
My feelings of exculsion occurred with children, and adults, from both sides of my families. Child taunts and comments, I now know were the direct result of their parental experience, and or social environment. It is so amazing to me in today's world to see countless people trying to research and develop their genealogies to clarify and document Indian heritage. wow!~ Sometimes it is almost comical. It is so mind boggling to meet so many people who will tell me they are the direct descendant of some Indian princess. Or so they've been told. The need to belong, the desire to belong, the longing for feeling a part of, is inherent in the human condition.
But, even with all the strides made in social equality when I walk into a room, I am not white in a room of white people. And, I am not Indian in a room full of Indians. I have experienced this in all aspects of living from the workplace to churches. And, sadly to say with the two families with whom I am related. I never quite belonged. Today at the age of 58, I am no closer to most of my family members on either side than I was years ago. I was never around many of my Indian relatives much while growing up. My sister M has the same problem as her situation was very similar to mine. I did not send out more than a handful of Christmas cards this year. I was too caught up in my personal drama to care. But, I realized it didn't really matter. I have no contact throughout the rest of the year, so, it is silly to stick out an olive branch once a year and get no response. And, I am ok with my decision. After all these years I am quite happy with my life as things are and my husband and children, are my world.
But as to the feelings of exculsion I have come to realize that everyone can have feelings of being on the outside depending on where they are at any given time. A white person in a room full of Asians, or Indians, or Blacks would or could feel excluded and visa versa. The same goes for people of a certain profession. lol. A prostitute would feel excluded in a room full of legal secretaries. A lawyer would feel excluded in a room full of wild-eyed, raucous bikers. A biker would feel excluded in a room full of white collar professionals and so forth. lol
So what am I driving at? All this babble about feelings of exculsion. Simply put, we all have hope in Jesus. I belong to him. His heart belongs to me. Even in a church where I don't know anyone and I may or may not ever get on a personal level with most of the people there, I still belong to the body of Christ.
There are churches that for whatever reason, be it social, cultural, physical, financial, or even differences in doctrine, or spiritual beliefs, I could never fully belong to the individual members and their given lifestyle, I am at one with my God. This is so crucial. It is the one true thing. This is the reason we are all here. I believe that the sense or feeling of exclusion is allowed to perpetuate itself so that if we are seeking him, truly seeking him, we will find that oneness with him. I fought so hard emotionally to find this place. In spite of exculsions, or whatever, I just keep seeking his face. Even when I felt excluded within a given church structure and it happens. I just kept seeking is face.
Hebrews 11:6 (King James Version)
But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him.
Romans 8: 1
There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.
Most of us when we experience the feeling of exclusion, tend to look inward. What is wrong with me? Why am I not a part of the group or experience? etc. But, if we are in Christ and not living for the world, and truly seeking to grow in spirit will reach the point where the feelings of outsiderism (my term), or exclusion, find that it no longer matters if "they" want a relationship with us. Oh yes, we are to be there for each other but, to fully rely only on him. This is a hard place to get to without a lot of prayer and serious study of his will for our lives.
1 Corinthians 12:27 (King James Version)Now ye are the body of Christ, and members in particular.
This is not to say we should not turn to other church members or other Christians, because we should. But, just not to expect them to be perfection in every given situation. Because With prayer requests alone, a church can see a person through a crisis. A given ministry within a church group can be the crucial thing to emotional survival and physical well being. Such as a women's ministry for a mother in need, or a youth group or the men's ministry, etc. A Pastor within a church cannot be all things to all people. He is only human and as such, while called by God to lead, is still limited by the human condition. As we all are.
I Corinthians 12:26 (King James Version)
And whether one member suffer, all the members suffer with it; or one member be honoured, all the members rejoice with it.
I write this for my daughter and my sister. I hope and pray that when the time comes they will find this bit of thought processing to be helpful. I leave this as a prayer of words from St. Paul, for them, and the good Godly women, who are and have been examples of his love for me.
Philippians 4:3 (King James Version)And I intreat thee also, true yokefellow, help those women which laboured with me in the gospel, with Clement also, and with other my fellowlabourers, whose names are in the book of life.
Saturday, January 8, 2011
"...for they shall see God."
Matthew 5:8 (King James Version)
Blessed are the pure in heart: for they shall see God.
These words from the Bible are so comforting. For all those parents and grandparents out there who suffer the loss or separation from a child for whatever reason, this should bring comfort. Just to know these words of spiritual guidance spoken by Jesus himself in the Sermon on the Mount. Wow!~
I visited my best friends parents church last Sunday morning and this is the scripture Pastor Kirbo based his sermon on. Now, his sermon was about seeing God. He talked about how Moses, and a select few, such as prophets, had personal encounters with Almighty God. He taught how we should seek his face. He encouraged everyone to study and work at developing a personal relationship with God. I am being brief here as I am not a theologian and would not want to try and relay his entire sermon. However, it was a very good sermon and I could not do it justice.
But, my revelation this morning was in relation to my situation with BoBo and his parents. As to small children, I believe all little children are pure in heart. Most people would agree with me. AS small children they have not ingested all the evil that we as adults have compromised out minds, lives and hearts with. So it brings me great comfort to know that all the little ones, here, there, and everywhere, may be able to see the face of God. Perhaps they do. One cannot know for sure. But, it brings me comfort to think that they do and they can. It is for certain the babies and little ones who have gone on are now cherished in the arms of the Almighty.
It makes my heart happy to think that BoBo as a small child who is no doubt pure in heart, can see God. Oh, what a blessed thought. I would think that parents or grandparents who have lost a small child would also find great comfort in this verse.
Blessed are the pure in heart: for they shall see God.
These words from the Bible are so comforting. For all those parents and grandparents out there who suffer the loss or separation from a child for whatever reason, this should bring comfort. Just to know these words of spiritual guidance spoken by Jesus himself in the Sermon on the Mount. Wow!~
I visited my best friends parents church last Sunday morning and this is the scripture Pastor Kirbo based his sermon on. Now, his sermon was about seeing God. He talked about how Moses, and a select few, such as prophets, had personal encounters with Almighty God. He taught how we should seek his face. He encouraged everyone to study and work at developing a personal relationship with God. I am being brief here as I am not a theologian and would not want to try and relay his entire sermon. However, it was a very good sermon and I could not do it justice.
But, my revelation this morning was in relation to my situation with BoBo and his parents. As to small children, I believe all little children are pure in heart. Most people would agree with me. AS small children they have not ingested all the evil that we as adults have compromised out minds, lives and hearts with. So it brings me great comfort to know that all the little ones, here, there, and everywhere, may be able to see the face of God. Perhaps they do. One cannot know for sure. But, it brings me comfort to think that they do and they can. It is for certain the babies and little ones who have gone on are now cherished in the arms of the Almighty.
It makes my heart happy to think that BoBo as a small child who is no doubt pure in heart, can see God. Oh, what a blessed thought. I would think that parents or grandparents who have lost a small child would also find great comfort in this verse.
Friday, January 7, 2011
Just ridin the waves...
Sometimes life will through you a curve and you have to be ready. My last post was Wednesday afternoon and I was in a wonderful place. Later that evening I found out that the kids are thinking of moving two hours away with BoBo. My heart just plummeted. Fear and anxiety just had me reeling for some time there. I had to do a lot of praying to get back on track emotionally. There is a job opportunity there for only a dollar more an hour. But, who will be there to help with the little things. I pray they take time to think this through and use a little common sense.
I've been doing my Bible study and have started writing down some of my thoughts on what I read. I think in the days ahead I will start a separate label section here to record some of my own thoughts on what I'm reading. It will be good for me to have it down somewhere more permanent than my little throw away notebooks.
I found a book during the holidays while shopping and it is a Bible reference word guide. It is so good. It adds to the use of my Biblical concordance and is a great book. I went back and bought one for my cousin and my sister. I know this will help both of them too. On bad days I use it to refer to words like fear, and faith, or, some such word. The references to Angels alone had me prowling my Bible cover to cover for some time and I was astonished at all the information I gleaned. It has really enhanced my reading as it has scripture references that are not always in the back of my Bible. What a find. I plan to go and try to find more so I can give them to others. It was only $5.00 and a real bargain at that with over 3,700 word references. The title is:
Where To Find It In The BIBLE, The ultimate A to Z resource, author Ken Anderson.
I found it at the Dollar General store of all places. Wow!~ I now think of it as my bluebook, as the cover is a pastel blue.
ok, just a couple minutes til the herd bears down on me. Papa got off early today and is picking up granddaughter and a couple of her friends from school. They should be here shortly and as teenage girls are they will be on the move when they get here. They will be ready to roll as it is Friday afternoon. I wonder where they will all end up before the evening is over. One house or the other I am certain, but as yet I do not know which Mamma will be the host. lol
I still pray for BoBo sometimes from moment to moment. Others I stand so firm in my faith that all is well.
I've been doing my Bible study and have started writing down some of my thoughts on what I read. I think in the days ahead I will start a separate label section here to record some of my own thoughts on what I'm reading. It will be good for me to have it down somewhere more permanent than my little throw away notebooks.
I found a book during the holidays while shopping and it is a Bible reference word guide. It is so good. It adds to the use of my Biblical concordance and is a great book. I went back and bought one for my cousin and my sister. I know this will help both of them too. On bad days I use it to refer to words like fear, and faith, or, some such word. The references to Angels alone had me prowling my Bible cover to cover for some time and I was astonished at all the information I gleaned. It has really enhanced my reading as it has scripture references that are not always in the back of my Bible. What a find. I plan to go and try to find more so I can give them to others. It was only $5.00 and a real bargain at that with over 3,700 word references. The title is:
Where To Find It In The BIBLE, The ultimate A to Z resource, author Ken Anderson.
I found it at the Dollar General store of all places. Wow!~ I now think of it as my bluebook, as the cover is a pastel blue.
ok, just a couple minutes til the herd bears down on me. Papa got off early today and is picking up granddaughter and a couple of her friends from school. They should be here shortly and as teenage girls are they will be on the move when they get here. They will be ready to roll as it is Friday afternoon. I wonder where they will all end up before the evening is over. One house or the other I am certain, but as yet I do not know which Mamma will be the host. lol
I still pray for BoBo sometimes from moment to moment. Others I stand so firm in my faith that all is well.
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
The "Apple of my Eye".
13Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.
Today is the first day in weeks I have felt almost normal again. The heartbreak and despair has been a nightmare. I walked through the valley and although things are not back to normal, I am starting to live again. My heart still grieves for My Baby boy, but, I have finally found my emotional and spiritual legs again. I am glad that I stopped blogging for a while and no one reads this now. This is just a personal place to unload.
For the last several weeks I would get up and pray and read my Bible. It gave me strength and I would be ok. Then the fear and frustration, grief and loss would kick in and I was floundering in my faith. Some days I prayed over and over to get through. Other days I prayed then too, but I was so filled with grief, I just went through the motions.
I knew in my heart that I serve a God who is able. But, the weakness in me, the part of me that lacks stamina would fall into the negatives and I was reeling in so many tumultuous emotions. I have finally realized that this is a time of testing for me. And, a time of learning for the kids. I know that Baby was probably heartbroken when he was not allowed to see me and that added to my grief. The sense of powerlessness is sometimes the worst nightmare.
But, I know that in the last year, during prayers around and over BoBo, he was touched by the God I serve. I know that somewhere deep in his heart he will carry the love we shared. He will carry all the warm, cozy, happy memories to sustain him. I know I did, when I was taken away from my Grandpa, and rocketed into my culture shock experience as a child. I think that childhood memory has been part of my heartbreak, but, now, it has to be part of what will strengthen me. I carried Grandpa in my heart during all the years of twisted abuse. So, I know he will never completely forget all the love and happiness.
He was and is the "apple of my eye". I will never forget curling up at bedtime and watching his movies. He would pull on my ear and I would cuddle his two feet in my hand. Oh, how he loved a cup of chocolate milk from time to time at bedtime. He was soooooo goood. When it was time to go to sleep he would go right on in to his room to be put to bed. :)
Zechariah 2:8 (King James Version)
8For thus saith the LORD of hosts; After the glory hath he sent me unto the nations which spoiled you: for he that toucheth you toucheth the apple of his eye.
One of my favorite memories came one night when I was cooking dinner. He wanted to help and he was so little. I gave him a little potato, a paper plate and a butter knife. He sat at the table trying to peel that potato and said, "I cookin', Mema!".
He was always so good in stores and at church. I never had a problem with him acting out. Quiet and so well behaved was he. The day of the big blow up his mamma said he was a Brat and that he was kicking and biting and hitting. But, he did not do those things here. She said it was because we were spoiling him. ok...I serve a God who is able. I know he will watch over him, and hold him in his mighty arms.
I have come through the deepest, darkest time of my life. Through a childhood of mind blogging, cultural, social, and emotional confusion I never lost optimism. I never lived in despair or depression. Never, until this time of heartbreak. But, this time of test has taught me one thing. Hold fast to my faith in darkness, and seek his light. My mind was almost destroyed in this situation. I still hope and pray things will change and he will be back soon. Oh, how I love my great grandson.
4(For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds;)
5Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;
My God is Able!~ My God is Able!~ My God is Able!~
Today is the first day in weeks I have felt almost normal again. The heartbreak and despair has been a nightmare. I walked through the valley and although things are not back to normal, I am starting to live again. My heart still grieves for My Baby boy, but, I have finally found my emotional and spiritual legs again. I am glad that I stopped blogging for a while and no one reads this now. This is just a personal place to unload.
For the last several weeks I would get up and pray and read my Bible. It gave me strength and I would be ok. Then the fear and frustration, grief and loss would kick in and I was floundering in my faith. Some days I prayed over and over to get through. Other days I prayed then too, but I was so filled with grief, I just went through the motions.
I knew in my heart that I serve a God who is able. But, the weakness in me, the part of me that lacks stamina would fall into the negatives and I was reeling in so many tumultuous emotions. I have finally realized that this is a time of testing for me. And, a time of learning for the kids. I know that Baby was probably heartbroken when he was not allowed to see me and that added to my grief. The sense of powerlessness is sometimes the worst nightmare.
But, I know that in the last year, during prayers around and over BoBo, he was touched by the God I serve. I know that somewhere deep in his heart he will carry the love we shared. He will carry all the warm, cozy, happy memories to sustain him. I know I did, when I was taken away from my Grandpa, and rocketed into my culture shock experience as a child. I think that childhood memory has been part of my heartbreak, but, now, it has to be part of what will strengthen me. I carried Grandpa in my heart during all the years of twisted abuse. So, I know he will never completely forget all the love and happiness.
He was and is the "apple of my eye". I will never forget curling up at bedtime and watching his movies. He would pull on my ear and I would cuddle his two feet in my hand. Oh, how he loved a cup of chocolate milk from time to time at bedtime. He was soooooo goood. When it was time to go to sleep he would go right on in to his room to be put to bed. :)
Zechariah 2:8 (King James Version)
8For thus saith the LORD of hosts; After the glory hath he sent me unto the nations which spoiled you: for he that toucheth you toucheth the apple of his eye.
One of my favorite memories came one night when I was cooking dinner. He wanted to help and he was so little. I gave him a little potato, a paper plate and a butter knife. He sat at the table trying to peel that potato and said, "I cookin', Mema!".
He was always so good in stores and at church. I never had a problem with him acting out. Quiet and so well behaved was he. The day of the big blow up his mamma said he was a Brat and that he was kicking and biting and hitting. But, he did not do those things here. She said it was because we were spoiling him. ok...I serve a God who is able. I know he will watch over him, and hold him in his mighty arms.
I have come through the deepest, darkest time of my life. Through a childhood of mind blogging, cultural, social, and emotional confusion I never lost optimism. I never lived in despair or depression. Never, until this time of heartbreak. But, this time of test has taught me one thing. Hold fast to my faith in darkness, and seek his light. My mind was almost destroyed in this situation. I still hope and pray things will change and he will be back soon. Oh, how I love my great grandson.
4(For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds;)
5Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;
My God is Able!~ My God is Able!~ My God is Able!~
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Amid the hustle and bustle...
I have tried to stay busy the last couple of weeks. With Christmas so close I've had plenty of things to keep me going. I did two Christmas angels again this year. One at the tribal office, a little girl, age six, and a boy thru the SA tree at KMart, a boy, age nine. I had done so much shopping at the last minute that finances were tight after I did the two angels. But, with frugal watching we made it to payday. Thank God! Whew! Most years I do my shopping over several months or weeks and that keeps the cost from blowing us out of the water. This year that just didn't happen.
I baked three small loaves and two large loaves of pumpkin bread on Monday. I took the three down to the SPD for the officers on all three shifts. I sent a large one to work with hubby and sent one home with my sister for her family. She works full time at the hospital and I know she has so little free time for baking. It made her so happy. She said she wasn't sure if she was gonna share with the family or not. lol
At the moment I have two more large loaves in the oven, and mix ready for the three small ones. I will do a cherry cobbler later and take the two larges loaves and cobbler to the SA dinner for residents tomorrow. :) It makes me feel good to do this as they don't even have homes, so a home baked dessert may make the holidays a little brighter in their hearts. I hope. The three little loaves will be distributed according to hubby's family rank. lol
Over Thanksgiving, daughter and I baked some goodies and took them to SA for the dinner there. We agreed we will do this annually in memory of her (paternal) Grandma Pug. She was such a great cook and baker. Her greatest joy was doing Sunday dinner for her family. She was a great example of a dying breed. Who cooks Sunday dinners anymore? Well, now my daughter does. :) My daughter was such a loving granddaughter to her. She went every Sunday that she possibly could and in the last months of her grandmas life she would scrub the bathroom every Sunday. Or, pick up prescriptions and such. All the family drama that occurred when she died has really been heartbreaking for my girl.
I did the same kind of stuff the last years of my step-moms life. When they are gone, it sure leaves a big hole in your heart, and in your life when you get used to being there for someone. But, I know from my own experience that in time, my daughter will come to cherish her memories, and the memories will sustain her. Right now the grief is so hard for her. This will be the first Christmas without a big DO at grandmas.
So, I am not having dinner. Dinner will be at her house. I know she feels a little overwhelmed because she is stressed. Not only that she works a very demanding full time job. But, I will do a good portion of the cooking and that will ease her burden. I think it will do her good to be at home, and experience the thrills and frustrations of a big DO at home. It will help her to take her first steps in following...
gotta take bread out of oven... timer is going off...
OK, last three in the oven.
in following in her grandmas and my footsteps. She does dinners large and small all the time but has been very hesitant about turkey and dressing. It is time. :) I know part of the reason is that grandma made the best dressing in the free world. But, she watched her often enough I know she can do it. With practice she can perfect and carry on. I make very good dressing but not the same as her grandma. I found my own variation years ago. We all do.
Tomorrow I will make my pumpkin pies and one pecan pie for Christmas dinner at her house.
I have rambled and babbled here to pass the time. My eyes are a bit blurry, but I just try to stay occupied. Idle hands and all that. lol For me it is an idle brain that causes so much trouble.
The bright spot in my days is knowing my son will be here, he is driving in for a couple hours on Christmas day. Oh, how I have missed him running in and out of here. But, he is so happy in his new home and the life they are building in Texas. They will run from house to house to try and visit all the relatives on both sides. :)
I don't know if I will get to see BoBo, but, I just keep praying for his health and safety. When the battle between fear and faith hits, or my vivid imagination goes into overload, I pray or read my Bible. My God is Able!
So, as the battle between good and evil continues to rage in the lives of all my loved ones, I just keep praying and trying to walk in faith.
I baked three small loaves and two large loaves of pumpkin bread on Monday. I took the three down to the SPD for the officers on all three shifts. I sent a large one to work with hubby and sent one home with my sister for her family. She works full time at the hospital and I know she has so little free time for baking. It made her so happy. She said she wasn't sure if she was gonna share with the family or not. lol
At the moment I have two more large loaves in the oven, and mix ready for the three small ones. I will do a cherry cobbler later and take the two larges loaves and cobbler to the SA dinner for residents tomorrow. :) It makes me feel good to do this as they don't even have homes, so a home baked dessert may make the holidays a little brighter in their hearts. I hope. The three little loaves will be distributed according to hubby's family rank. lol
Over Thanksgiving, daughter and I baked some goodies and took them to SA for the dinner there. We agreed we will do this annually in memory of her (paternal) Grandma Pug. She was such a great cook and baker. Her greatest joy was doing Sunday dinner for her family. She was a great example of a dying breed. Who cooks Sunday dinners anymore? Well, now my daughter does. :) My daughter was such a loving granddaughter to her. She went every Sunday that she possibly could and in the last months of her grandmas life she would scrub the bathroom every Sunday. Or, pick up prescriptions and such. All the family drama that occurred when she died has really been heartbreaking for my girl.
I did the same kind of stuff the last years of my step-moms life. When they are gone, it sure leaves a big hole in your heart, and in your life when you get used to being there for someone. But, I know from my own experience that in time, my daughter will come to cherish her memories, and the memories will sustain her. Right now the grief is so hard for her. This will be the first Christmas without a big DO at grandmas.
So, I am not having dinner. Dinner will be at her house. I know she feels a little overwhelmed because she is stressed. Not only that she works a very demanding full time job. But, I will do a good portion of the cooking and that will ease her burden. I think it will do her good to be at home, and experience the thrills and frustrations of a big DO at home. It will help her to take her first steps in following...
gotta take bread out of oven... timer is going off...
OK, last three in the oven.
in following in her grandmas and my footsteps. She does dinners large and small all the time but has been very hesitant about turkey and dressing. It is time. :) I know part of the reason is that grandma made the best dressing in the free world. But, she watched her often enough I know she can do it. With practice she can perfect and carry on. I make very good dressing but not the same as her grandma. I found my own variation years ago. We all do.
Tomorrow I will make my pumpkin pies and one pecan pie for Christmas dinner at her house.
I have rambled and babbled here to pass the time. My eyes are a bit blurry, but I just try to stay occupied. Idle hands and all that. lol For me it is an idle brain that causes so much trouble.
The bright spot in my days is knowing my son will be here, he is driving in for a couple hours on Christmas day. Oh, how I have missed him running in and out of here. But, he is so happy in his new home and the life they are building in Texas. They will run from house to house to try and visit all the relatives on both sides. :)
I don't know if I will get to see BoBo, but, I just keep praying for his health and safety. When the battle between fear and faith hits, or my vivid imagination goes into overload, I pray or read my Bible. My God is Able!
So, as the battle between good and evil continues to rage in the lives of all my loved ones, I just keep praying and trying to walk in faith.
December drivel...
Been running in circles. Had a major drama unfold just before the Thanksgiving holiday that left me reeling. Still trying to make a comeback from this situation. Baby Mama came to my house to pick up BoBo and proceeded to give me a tongue lashing for what she said was "telling her how to discipline her child." It was so bad. I tried to deal with it by being quiet for a couple minutes and then told her not to talk to me. She kept on and I kept telling her not to talk to me, and I finally lost my patience and told her to "shut up". She kept mouthing off and it escalated and I told her repeatedly to get out of my house. Now, I have not seen BoBo since then. This is a very short version of the whole crazy incident. A couple months ago Mommy and Daddy got back together and I am no longer the much treasured babysitter. They are ready to play house again, and that means my dear sweet BoBo becomes the little soldier. It breaks my heart. I must continually turn it over to God in prayer and it has been a rough month.
I have been told by Daddy when I Apologize to her we can make peace. But, I cannot accept the disrespect and be treated this way. I know if I aploigize it will set a pattern and she will be rolling over me from now on. She was so hateful and rude until I made her leave. And even then she was ranting as she went down the driveway.
AS for the holidays, I went through the shopping and wrapping process. I am joyful about my Savior but am too torn to be merry about all the hoopla. We have not put up a tree. It seems silly when there are no small children around to enjoy it. It has been so hard for my daughter to as they have placed her right in the middle. Since her grandma died she has grieved so much. WE have been clinging to each other through this ordeal. It would have been wonderful to have others of faith to turn to for both of us. Most of our families, including our husbands are not faithful in going to church or in their spiritual walk. We both have come to realize that a womens ministy would be so important at a time like this. It has made us stop and realize what we are missing in such a support system. I dread to think what life would be like for her without me and what my life would be like without her. I hope we can find a way to move into the future through all the drama. Like I say, I pray.
I got up this morning at 1:00a.m. as I could not sleep. Worry took over so I prayed and then I got into a Bible study of Angels. I am amazed at all the scripture there is where God used Angelic messengers and forces to deal with his children. It is odd how you can read something over and over and miss something important.
Lately I have found things in scripture that I never noticed before. Perhaps it is growth in my walk, or that I am ready as never before. Time will tell... I will post some insights in a blog later to follow up on these moments of Bible study. It keeps me sane and helps with the strength of my faith to stay in the word.
I have been told by Daddy when I Apologize to her we can make peace. But, I cannot accept the disrespect and be treated this way. I know if I aploigize it will set a pattern and she will be rolling over me from now on. She was so hateful and rude until I made her leave. And even then she was ranting as she went down the driveway.
AS for the holidays, I went through the shopping and wrapping process. I am joyful about my Savior but am too torn to be merry about all the hoopla. We have not put up a tree. It seems silly when there are no small children around to enjoy it. It has been so hard for my daughter to as they have placed her right in the middle. Since her grandma died she has grieved so much. WE have been clinging to each other through this ordeal. It would have been wonderful to have others of faith to turn to for both of us. Most of our families, including our husbands are not faithful in going to church or in their spiritual walk. We both have come to realize that a womens ministy would be so important at a time like this. It has made us stop and realize what we are missing in such a support system. I dread to think what life would be like for her without me and what my life would be like without her. I hope we can find a way to move into the future through all the drama. Like I say, I pray.
I got up this morning at 1:00a.m. as I could not sleep. Worry took over so I prayed and then I got into a Bible study of Angels. I am amazed at all the scripture there is where God used Angelic messengers and forces to deal with his children. It is odd how you can read something over and over and miss something important.
Lately I have found things in scripture that I never noticed before. Perhaps it is growth in my walk, or that I am ready as never before. Time will tell... I will post some insights in a blog later to follow up on these moments of Bible study. It keeps me sane and helps with the strength of my faith to stay in the word.
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
What a time of heartbreak!~
My kids paternal grandma got sick and the last month has been a nightmare. She passed away last Saturday. Our friends David and Diann had a son named Dee and he died last week of a brain aneurysm. The funeral was Thursday. Last Sunday night my nephew (19 yrs old) committed suicide. The funeral was this week. His mom is so sickly and very near her own time as it is and this was almost the final straw for her. Neighbors down the road from the store lost their son too and his funeral was last Saturday. It seems like I cooked food day and night this last week for funerals or to send to the hospital waiting room. By Sunday this week I was on crash and burn.
Grandma Pug's funeral is this Thursday. I just keep praying my way thru it all.
The computer crashed yesterday. Been having problems with it. Took it to the Shawnee Computer Hospital late yesterday. The guys there are so awesome. The had it ready to go at 7:30a.m. this morning. There were grandma pictures on there that my daughter wanted for the funeral collage. I got the puter home and emailed the pics to her so she has them now. Whew. SCH techo guys told me I probably need to upgrade to a new computer tower. I will no longer do the Facebook/Twitter social networking. It is far to easy to get hit by a virus. This is the third crash we've had to deal with in the last 9 months.
I draw strength in all this heartbreak from the knowledge that There is a God. That there is a heaven and that Jesus saves. I am so thankful for that spiritual confidence and I am so blessed to know that my son and my daughter and my grandchildren are Christian's. They are not as active in church as they should be, but, Oh, "thank God", the are praying people and children. They could not have survived all this without him. The other members of Grandma's family are really struggling with this loss.
Grandma Pug's funeral is this Thursday. I just keep praying my way thru it all.
The computer crashed yesterday. Been having problems with it. Took it to the Shawnee Computer Hospital late yesterday. The guys there are so awesome. The had it ready to go at 7:30a.m. this morning. There were grandma pictures on there that my daughter wanted for the funeral collage. I got the puter home and emailed the pics to her so she has them now. Whew. SCH techo guys told me I probably need to upgrade to a new computer tower. I will no longer do the Facebook/Twitter social networking. It is far to easy to get hit by a virus. This is the third crash we've had to deal with in the last 9 months.
I draw strength in all this heartbreak from the knowledge that There is a God. That there is a heaven and that Jesus saves. I am so thankful for that spiritual confidence and I am so blessed to know that my son and my daughter and my grandchildren are Christian's. They are not as active in church as they should be, but, Oh, "thank God", the are praying people and children. They could not have survived all this without him. The other members of Grandma's family are really struggling with this loss.
Thursday, September 9, 2010
My God is Able!~
19. Then they cry unto the LORD in their trouble, and he saveth them out of their distresses. 20. He sent his word, and healed them, and delivered them from their destructions. (King James Version)
I am standing on his promises. Believing his word in all things. My husband, my children, my grandchildren and my great grandchild. The grand kids have had their share of drama and crisis lately. My second to oldest grandson was jumped from behind while sitting in his seat in class last week. Both boys ended up in ER. The attacker was suspended for only three days. He is now back in school. I pray for the guidance in the life of my boys. Youngest grandson was with me at the doctor for a much needed asthma/allergy shot when the incident happened. The same day my oldest grandson headed for the doctor as he was coughing blood. My granddaughter is having problems with annoying health issues too. BoBo has had an off and on rash lately. He has been moving with his mama and there has been drama. My babies, my babies. My God is Able!~
I am standing on his promises. Believing his word in all things. My husband, my children, my grandchildren and my great grandchild. The grand kids have had their share of drama and crisis lately. My second to oldest grandson was jumped from behind while sitting in his seat in class last week. Both boys ended up in ER. The attacker was suspended for only three days. He is now back in school. I pray for the guidance in the life of my boys. Youngest grandson was with me at the doctor for a much needed asthma/allergy shot when the incident happened. The same day my oldest grandson headed for the doctor as he was coughing blood. My granddaughter is having problems with annoying health issues too. BoBo has had an off and on rash lately. He has been moving with his mama and there has been drama. My babies, my babies. My God is Able!~
Friday, August 6, 2010
blowin ' the place...
Whew!~ Been runnin' in circles all day. Finally slowin' down. Sittin' at my daughters house using my granddaughters laptop. lol Took her internet for my blog time. lol
Fought with the flea problem for days now. Finally made contact with a very reputable exterminator and they are spraying my house, so, I am staying away for a few hours. I hope this solves the problem. We bought the very good once a month pills for our dogs, but, I don't know if this will eliminate the bugs. Our neighbor still has her pack of dogs and two cats. Time will tell. *sigh*
I have not had BoBo this week, so in my down time I got almost all of my huge pile of mending caught up. Just a few more pieces left to do. Yipeeeeee!~ I put new zippers in three pair of hunnys pants, mended and patched three pair of Putt-Putt boys blue jeans. I put new buttons on several things, and finished three new undertank type teddy tops. :) To anyone else all this may be humdrum, but, the pile has grown for sometime now, so, I feel I accomplished a big project. lol It's just life in the fast lane for granny. lol
My hunny has been working such long days. Going in at 5am and heading to the hayfield at 4pm to mow, rake, or bale hay. Getting home around 8:30 or 9:00pm. He is such a hard worker, and I so wish he could slow down. Hay season will be over for him soon though. I think we need to plan a week-end get-a-way in mid September. Take a fall drive and see the sights somewhere down the road. I need to add that to my list of things to do. :) :) He is an amazing man, and this is sometimes the only way to get him away for a break.
Daughter and her little extended herd are planning a road trip to Wichita Falls, Texas. This place they are going to, Castaway Cove has all of the kiddies pumped. lol I can only imagine what the trip will be like with all the kiddies and their grand kiddies. lol Been there, done that! While the memories and pics are great it sure can wear a person out. lol
I have not talked to my son or his boys all week. :{ Such is life sometimes, I guess. It makes me sad to know that my youngest grandson is mad at me. It may be that his being mad translates into his older brother being mad too. Oh well. Not much I can do but let things go for now as is. I don't know if since their Dad is in Texas if either of them told their Dad what happened between young one and me. I will not tell him. If they want to tell him, I will talk to him about the situation if and only if he brings it up first. *sigh* No one can say I am a tattletale. lol
My verse today that keeps cropping up has been:
Ephesians 6:13 (King James Version)
13Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.
I have rambled enough for now. I have a book with me and I am so ready to get back to reading it. :)
Fought with the flea problem for days now. Finally made contact with a very reputable exterminator and they are spraying my house, so, I am staying away for a few hours. I hope this solves the problem. We bought the very good once a month pills for our dogs, but, I don't know if this will eliminate the bugs. Our neighbor still has her pack of dogs and two cats. Time will tell. *sigh*
I have not had BoBo this week, so in my down time I got almost all of my huge pile of mending caught up. Just a few more pieces left to do. Yipeeeeee!~ I put new zippers in three pair of hunnys pants, mended and patched three pair of Putt-Putt boys blue jeans. I put new buttons on several things, and finished three new undertank type teddy tops. :) To anyone else all this may be humdrum, but, the pile has grown for sometime now, so, I feel I accomplished a big project. lol It's just life in the fast lane for granny. lol
My hunny has been working such long days. Going in at 5am and heading to the hayfield at 4pm to mow, rake, or bale hay. Getting home around 8:30 or 9:00pm. He is such a hard worker, and I so wish he could slow down. Hay season will be over for him soon though. I think we need to plan a week-end get-a-way in mid September. Take a fall drive and see the sights somewhere down the road. I need to add that to my list of things to do. :) :) He is an amazing man, and this is sometimes the only way to get him away for a break.
Daughter and her little extended herd are planning a road trip to Wichita Falls, Texas. This place they are going to, Castaway Cove has all of the kiddies pumped. lol I can only imagine what the trip will be like with all the kiddies and their grand kiddies. lol Been there, done that! While the memories and pics are great it sure can wear a person out. lol
I have not talked to my son or his boys all week. :{ Such is life sometimes, I guess. It makes me sad to know that my youngest grandson is mad at me. It may be that his being mad translates into his older brother being mad too. Oh well. Not much I can do but let things go for now as is. I don't know if since their Dad is in Texas if either of them told their Dad what happened between young one and me. I will not tell him. If they want to tell him, I will talk to him about the situation if and only if he brings it up first. *sigh* No one can say I am a tattletale. lol
My verse today that keeps cropping up has been:
Ephesians 6:13 (King James Version)
13Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.
I have rambled enough for now. I have a book with me and I am so ready to get back to reading it. :)
Monday, August 2, 2010
Another week-end over...
Ok, it is Monday morning and I have been up once again since 4;15a.m. Hunny rolled outta here at 4:30am ad I got putt putt boy up at 4:45am. I am so thankful they both have good jobs but the schedules are changing daily. It sure keeps me running. lol
We are still fighting the flea problem. I have spent a small fortune the last few weeks trying to control this problem. WE bought pills at the vet hospital for both our dogs. (NOT CHEAP.) The pills are working great as the fleas that do get on them are dying. But, the young lady next door has four or five dogs and two cats and that seems to be what is causing the problem. We have sprinkled our yard three times, sprayed at least five times. We bombed on Saturday and he sprayed again later yesterday and still have fleas entering the small bath on the South side of the house which is near her garage. ARGH!!~ Maybe I should buy pills for everyone that enters our house. We live in a very nice neighborhood and this girl is a teacher. So, I just don't understand how she can live with the problem. Gripe, gripe, grumble, grumble.
I heard a very much needed sermon yesterday. I am so thankful for my Pastor. It is so sad to think of all the people who go to churches seeking guidance and never find a pastor who is a true Man of God. I was blessed with the greatest inflow of God's presence and felt so at peace when the feelings flowed through me. I am so thankful that Jesus did not leave us comfortless. I sometimes wish I could just stay right there in that place forever. But, I know that someday I will be there forever and it keeps me going. Such blessed feelings of peace and joy when his spirit fills me.
BoBO was not so good during service yesterday. He is wanting to play and travel and he even crawled under the church pew. I swatted him to get him to crawl back out from under and that was embarrassing. I guess for the next few weeks I will spend time with him in the baby class so he can get used to being there. He is now two and a half and it is time for him to be in with children his age. It just took some time for him to adapt to being out in a large group. I didn't want to just start leaving him as he is a very shy timid baby due to the lack of interaction in his past. But, after yesterday (lol) I feel he is comfortable enough at the church building and with the people there, that he is ready for the transition to Sunday School. I know that NaaiNaai got mad at me for trying to discipline him, as she is such a softy. She doesn't get to spend much time with him because she works a very demanding job. I on the other hand spend a lot of time with him and I have to use discipline to try and control the boy in him. And, he was disturbing the man at the end of our pew, and I know how that feels.
I sure stay tired most of the time now. Either too many irons in the fire or not enough time to keep up with everything I am called on to do. I will try to rest more. It helps when the first of the month rolls around and I get my B12 shot.
We are still fighting the flea problem. I have spent a small fortune the last few weeks trying to control this problem. WE bought pills at the vet hospital for both our dogs. (NOT CHEAP.) The pills are working great as the fleas that do get on them are dying. But, the young lady next door has four or five dogs and two cats and that seems to be what is causing the problem. We have sprinkled our yard three times, sprayed at least five times. We bombed on Saturday and he sprayed again later yesterday and still have fleas entering the small bath on the South side of the house which is near her garage. ARGH!!~ Maybe I should buy pills for everyone that enters our house. We live in a very nice neighborhood and this girl is a teacher. So, I just don't understand how she can live with the problem. Gripe, gripe, grumble, grumble.
I heard a very much needed sermon yesterday. I am so thankful for my Pastor. It is so sad to think of all the people who go to churches seeking guidance and never find a pastor who is a true Man of God. I was blessed with the greatest inflow of God's presence and felt so at peace when the feelings flowed through me. I am so thankful that Jesus did not leave us comfortless. I sometimes wish I could just stay right there in that place forever. But, I know that someday I will be there forever and it keeps me going. Such blessed feelings of peace and joy when his spirit fills me.
BoBO was not so good during service yesterday. He is wanting to play and travel and he even crawled under the church pew. I swatted him to get him to crawl back out from under and that was embarrassing. I guess for the next few weeks I will spend time with him in the baby class so he can get used to being there. He is now two and a half and it is time for him to be in with children his age. It just took some time for him to adapt to being out in a large group. I didn't want to just start leaving him as he is a very shy timid baby due to the lack of interaction in his past. But, after yesterday (lol) I feel he is comfortable enough at the church building and with the people there, that he is ready for the transition to Sunday School. I know that NaaiNaai got mad at me for trying to discipline him, as she is such a softy. She doesn't get to spend much time with him because she works a very demanding job. I on the other hand spend a lot of time with him and I have to use discipline to try and control the boy in him. And, he was disturbing the man at the end of our pew, and I know how that feels.
I sure stay tired most of the time now. Either too many irons in the fire or not enough time to keep up with everything I am called on to do. I will try to rest more. It helps when the first of the month rolls around and I get my B12 shot.
Friday, July 30, 2010
July 2010 almost over...
Where does the time go? What a month. Spent this month chasing my tail. Kids and grand kids and home fires. Whew!~Let's see... Dogs had fleas. Been dealing with that. Baby got stung three times yesterday by red wasps. Made me crazy and it was none too pleasant for him. But, I called his NaaiNaai, my daughter at work, and she told me to use baking soda paste on the burns and that works great. The swelling went down fast and he did not suffer with the stings for long because of that suggestion. It works.
There was a wasp nest underneath her grill and he walked under the sidebar and got stung on the head and twice on his little hand. I was in a panic it scared the hoooohaaaa outta me. She has such a beautiful back yard and it was so cool early in the morning. I thought it would be nice to sit on the patio and enjoy the morning breeze. BoBo was just walking off the patio and stumbled right under the nest.
Hay season has started and hunny is working full time on the job and doing hay in his spare time. So that translates into 15 hr days for him. I so worry but he is committed to keeping the hay rolling. I winter it makes a difference for the cows staying well fed. What an amazing man. He can fix any tractor, mower, baler, rake, dozer, trucks, cars, and any number of smaller implements and tools. Very talented that man.
This week just rolled into one long hard effort. We were up at 4:15 am four days as he had to be at work at 5:00a.m. I am still tired. Got up today raced around for five hours and later on took a thirty minute nap.
BoBo is in the process of potty training and it is going so good. I guess I should stop calling him my baby. LOL He is my first great grandchild and will always be my baby. I so enjoy his company although it is harder and harder for me to keep up with him. He is lightening. Like McQueen!~ whew~ lol
I went to Camp Meeting Sunday night and the sermon was great. I was a little disappointed with the start of the meeting. It was the 50th anniverary of the camp meeting so they had programming to commemorate the big day. I was just so pumped I was not wanting to celebrate that, I was wanting the worship to start. the sermon and worship after the celebration was very good. I had hoped to go back later in the week but, life just flows with family stuff and here it is Friday. Oh well!~ Such is life. But I made one night and that is a blessing. The meeting was over an hr drive away from home, so, it is not easy for me to make that kind of drive alone. Especially the drive home late at night.
Garden veggies. YUM~ Brother-in-law Bill has been sending fresh tomatoes, corn, peppers, and last but not least a bit of okra. :0 oh happy happy me. I am a veggie junkie. I could live without meat but not my vegetables.
There was a wasp nest underneath her grill and he walked under the sidebar and got stung on the head and twice on his little hand. I was in a panic it scared the hoooohaaaa outta me. She has such a beautiful back yard and it was so cool early in the morning. I thought it would be nice to sit on the patio and enjoy the morning breeze. BoBo was just walking off the patio and stumbled right under the nest.
Hay season has started and hunny is working full time on the job and doing hay in his spare time. So that translates into 15 hr days for him. I so worry but he is committed to keeping the hay rolling. I winter it makes a difference for the cows staying well fed. What an amazing man. He can fix any tractor, mower, baler, rake, dozer, trucks, cars, and any number of smaller implements and tools. Very talented that man.
This week just rolled into one long hard effort. We were up at 4:15 am four days as he had to be at work at 5:00a.m. I am still tired. Got up today raced around for five hours and later on took a thirty minute nap.
BoBo is in the process of potty training and it is going so good. I guess I should stop calling him my baby. LOL He is my first great grandchild and will always be my baby. I so enjoy his company although it is harder and harder for me to keep up with him. He is lightening. Like McQueen!~ whew~ lol
I went to Camp Meeting Sunday night and the sermon was great. I was a little disappointed with the start of the meeting. It was the 50th anniverary of the camp meeting so they had programming to commemorate the big day. I was just so pumped I was not wanting to celebrate that, I was wanting the worship to start. the sermon and worship after the celebration was very good. I had hoped to go back later in the week but, life just flows with family stuff and here it is Friday. Oh well!~ Such is life. But I made one night and that is a blessing. The meeting was over an hr drive away from home, so, it is not easy for me to make that kind of drive alone. Especially the drive home late at night.
Garden veggies. YUM~ Brother-in-law Bill has been sending fresh tomatoes, corn, peppers, and last but not least a bit of okra. :0 oh happy happy me. I am a veggie junkie. I could live without meat but not my vegetables.
Thursday, July 22, 2010
I'm a babblin' fool...
I Tried to go to the followers listed and send a message to a friend thru my blog here. As it asked if I wanted to send a message I had to sign up so I did. Then I found that I am now a follower of my own blog. Once again I am a victim of my own idiocy. The only difference between myself and many others is, I am always more than willing to admit to it and laugh at myself. LOL Hope someone gets a laugh or two from my foolishness. It gets better. I tried to unsign and it would not let me :P So, here I sit totally befuddled. lol
As to my day, I finally got some mending done and a bit of new sewing finished. I have BoBo so much I hate to drag out the sewing notions for fear I will leave something he could get in his little hands. He is a prowler in the worst way and I have to watch him like a hawk. So, I have so many projects on hold or on my to do list. Whew!
BoBo was out of town this week with Mama and I will see him as usual on Saturday evening for the night and following day. I missed him like crazy but made the most of my time. I wanted so much to get all my mending done but other things came up this week.
I also wanted to finish a book I started. Yes, I have started The Apostolic Life, and it is very interesting. I am finding answers to so many spiritual questions. But, I will do a book post on it when I finish. I have not had time in weeks and weeks for reading and am starting to feel so deprived. There has been so much going on with family and whatnot that I've had to leave the books on the shelf. *sigh* For this bookworm it has been a long dry spell. I still make time for my Bible most days in the early hours but, other books are stacked and sacked here and there. If you know me you know how piled my books can get. I have a box by the front door ready for winter. Rarely in my life have I had a winter book stash as early as July. LOl I usually create piles and stash sources after the Library book sale in October.
I took my oldest grandson for two long and tiring days with medical appointments this month. I hauled my granddaughter to the dentist and will go again in the morning. I have chased Bobo to and fro a good number of days. He is learning to potty. :) Yipeee!~
I fell on the porch last Wednesday and really banged myself up. Good Grief!~ BoBo and his mama were here thank the Lord. We were cleaning the driveway and everything was wet. I stepped up onto the porch and my foot slipped and I did a free fall. The blessing is that I did not break anything. And, I was so blessed that I did not form a hematoma in the bruise on my hip. Since I take blood thinners this can be and has been a serious problem for me in the past on one occasion. it took a few days for all the aches and pains to subside but I am doing great. Praise the Lord!~
I so miss my son now that he is living in Texas. But, we adapt even in old age. lol He got hurt on the job a couple of weeks ago and his leg is all banged up. The residual damage is that he will or could have a calcium deposit the size of a small apple on his leg below the knee for a long long time. But, the damage could have been far worse so I praise God for that in itself. His youngest son has been spending time with us of late and that has been so sweet. I know he misses his dad. He and big brother went and spent a week with him, but that still leaves a lot of time without dad here at home. He does enjoy being here and going out for prowling the farm with Papa or the oldest grandson. Priss and I will go pick him up at his Moms after the dentist appointment. Then Priss and Jake can argue over computer time and turns and whatnot today. LOL
A real bright spot in my world has been that my sister seems to be back in church. I am so thankful. We plan to go to camp meeting this next Sunday nite. I am so excited as I have heard of camp meetings all my life but this will be my first. I expect a mighty and powerful spiritual experience with my God when I go. So, I am pumped. :)I am certain the worship will be powerful and the teaching will be mighty. Oh, how I love to worship. I have a lot of years to make up for from my days lost in the darkness.
My daughter has a very dear friend,who, well, actually she is a dear friend to my son as well...duh~ Barbara is very dear to me as well. Barbara and her girls are like extended family to all of us. Her daughter Crissy was in a horrific car wreck this week, and prayers are ongoing for Crissy and her friends. One girl died in the wreck and the two boys are still on ventilators. Crissy has been transferred to a Bone and Joint hospital. I have prayed and prayed for all the kids and their families. I hope and pray I can post praise reports to my Book of Remembrances here soon. Until then I will continue to pray. When you read this say a prayer for these children and their families please.
My sister Juanita has another infection in a wound. She had same day surgery last week and goes back to the doctor tomorrow. Another prayer situation that I believe will be positive. It will be okay for I serve a God who is Able.
Deuteronomy 4:39 (King James Version)
39 Know therefore this day, and consider it in thine heart, that the LORD he is God in heaven above, and upon the earth beneath: there is none else.
Amen!~
As to my day, I finally got some mending done and a bit of new sewing finished. I have BoBo so much I hate to drag out the sewing notions for fear I will leave something he could get in his little hands. He is a prowler in the worst way and I have to watch him like a hawk. So, I have so many projects on hold or on my to do list. Whew!
BoBo was out of town this week with Mama and I will see him as usual on Saturday evening for the night and following day. I missed him like crazy but made the most of my time. I wanted so much to get all my mending done but other things came up this week.
I also wanted to finish a book I started. Yes, I have started The Apostolic Life, and it is very interesting. I am finding answers to so many spiritual questions. But, I will do a book post on it when I finish. I have not had time in weeks and weeks for reading and am starting to feel so deprived. There has been so much going on with family and whatnot that I've had to leave the books on the shelf. *sigh* For this bookworm it has been a long dry spell. I still make time for my Bible most days in the early hours but, other books are stacked and sacked here and there. If you know me you know how piled my books can get. I have a box by the front door ready for winter. Rarely in my life have I had a winter book stash as early as July. LOl I usually create piles and stash sources after the Library book sale in October.
I took my oldest grandson for two long and tiring days with medical appointments this month. I hauled my granddaughter to the dentist and will go again in the morning. I have chased Bobo to and fro a good number of days. He is learning to potty. :) Yipeee!~
I fell on the porch last Wednesday and really banged myself up. Good Grief!~ BoBo and his mama were here thank the Lord. We were cleaning the driveway and everything was wet. I stepped up onto the porch and my foot slipped and I did a free fall. The blessing is that I did not break anything. And, I was so blessed that I did not form a hematoma in the bruise on my hip. Since I take blood thinners this can be and has been a serious problem for me in the past on one occasion. it took a few days for all the aches and pains to subside but I am doing great. Praise the Lord!~
I so miss my son now that he is living in Texas. But, we adapt even in old age. lol He got hurt on the job a couple of weeks ago and his leg is all banged up. The residual damage is that he will or could have a calcium deposit the size of a small apple on his leg below the knee for a long long time. But, the damage could have been far worse so I praise God for that in itself. His youngest son has been spending time with us of late and that has been so sweet. I know he misses his dad. He and big brother went and spent a week with him, but that still leaves a lot of time without dad here at home. He does enjoy being here and going out for prowling the farm with Papa or the oldest grandson. Priss and I will go pick him up at his Moms after the dentist appointment. Then Priss and Jake can argue over computer time and turns and whatnot today. LOL
A real bright spot in my world has been that my sister seems to be back in church. I am so thankful. We plan to go to camp meeting this next Sunday nite. I am so excited as I have heard of camp meetings all my life but this will be my first. I expect a mighty and powerful spiritual experience with my God when I go. So, I am pumped. :)I am certain the worship will be powerful and the teaching will be mighty. Oh, how I love to worship. I have a lot of years to make up for from my days lost in the darkness.
My daughter has a very dear friend,who, well, actually she is a dear friend to my son as well...duh~ Barbara is very dear to me as well. Barbara and her girls are like extended family to all of us. Her daughter Crissy was in a horrific car wreck this week, and prayers are ongoing for Crissy and her friends. One girl died in the wreck and the two boys are still on ventilators. Crissy has been transferred to a Bone and Joint hospital. I have prayed and prayed for all the kids and their families. I hope and pray I can post praise reports to my Book of Remembrances here soon. Until then I will continue to pray. When you read this say a prayer for these children and their families please.
My sister Juanita has another infection in a wound. She had same day surgery last week and goes back to the doctor tomorrow. Another prayer situation that I believe will be positive. It will be okay for I serve a God who is Able.
Deuteronomy 4:39 (King James Version)
39 Know therefore this day, and consider it in thine heart, that the LORD he is God in heaven above, and upon the earth beneath: there is none else.
Amen!~
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Dumpster Divin'???
LOL In the Spring and Fall each year our city has a citywide bulk waste curbside clean-up for residents. LOl This means that if you don't want to have a garage sale you can pile all your junk at the curb and the city will haul it off. I know. I usually pile a ton of stuff at the curb and by the time the trucks come most of it has been carried off by those who have a use for all my miscellaneous junk. LOL It is a great giveaway kind of thing. LOL
I know. Hubby and I drive around town and look at all the piles and sometimes carry stuff home. LOL Actually we sometimes carry a lot of stuff home. Last Spring I rescued an Ivy plant from the curb, along with a couple of beautiful potted ornamental shrubs. The Ivy was root bound so I re potted it and now it sits on the front porch and has exploded into all its majesty. I will need to find a home for it before winter as it is so huge now I have no room for it inside the house. LOL The ornamentals are planted in the backyard.
I also found BoBo a tiny little Red Rider bicycle and a Jenny Lind rocking chair just his size. Both were in mint condition. I wiped them down and he was thrilled.
I was driving along last spring and there was a very nice recliner sitting at the curb. I tried to get it into the back of the Suburban and got it stuck. LOL I called my son. He was so embarrassed to come and help me. LOL :P But, the recliner was of great thrills to a young couple we met who needed it for their new place. They had nothing and were overjoyed to get it along with a fan and a few other things we had at the curb here at home.
Now, this mobile high-pile dumpster divin' hubby and I are into is a source of great embarrassment to our children and grandchildren. LOL Hey!~ We're hicks!~ What can I say. And, anyone who knows me at all knows that I am a full blown dyed in the wool bargain hunter. If it ain't on sale, I ain't buyin'. Sooooo, free...FREE!~ How could I resist that I ask you???
btw, ain't is "hick speak" for I am not, or, is not, etc. etc.
There have been bulk waste days where my sister and I have driven' around town for a couple of hours just lookin'. It is amazing what people will throw away. I know that from my great bulk waste escapades. LOL
Ok, so fast forward to this week. My hubby went to pick up our granddaughter of 15 the other night. She was talking to her mom about the winter formal. She was saving her hard earned nickels and dimes to buy hair accessories for the upcoming winter formal and wanted a pact with mom. She would save and mom would supply a matching amount. She told mom she did not care about the dress so much, but, would be happy to shop for a special dress for the prom instead. LOL As they were leaving to come back to our house my daughter heard my hubby tell her he thought it was time for him to take her to look for a winter formal, and he would take her dumster divin'.
I still laff so hard when I think of what must have been the horrified look on her face. what a hoot!~
I am posting this one for the kids and grand kids alike.
I know. Hubby and I drive around town and look at all the piles and sometimes carry stuff home. LOL Actually we sometimes carry a lot of stuff home. Last Spring I rescued an Ivy plant from the curb, along with a couple of beautiful potted ornamental shrubs. The Ivy was root bound so I re potted it and now it sits on the front porch and has exploded into all its majesty. I will need to find a home for it before winter as it is so huge now I have no room for it inside the house. LOL The ornamentals are planted in the backyard.
I also found BoBo a tiny little Red Rider bicycle and a Jenny Lind rocking chair just his size. Both were in mint condition. I wiped them down and he was thrilled.
I was driving along last spring and there was a very nice recliner sitting at the curb. I tried to get it into the back of the Suburban and got it stuck. LOL I called my son. He was so embarrassed to come and help me. LOL :P But, the recliner was of great thrills to a young couple we met who needed it for their new place. They had nothing and were overjoyed to get it along with a fan and a few other things we had at the curb here at home.
Now, this mobile high-pile dumpster divin' hubby and I are into is a source of great embarrassment to our children and grandchildren. LOL Hey!~ We're hicks!~ What can I say. And, anyone who knows me at all knows that I am a full blown dyed in the wool bargain hunter. If it ain't on sale, I ain't buyin'. Sooooo, free...FREE!~ How could I resist that I ask you???
btw, ain't is "hick speak" for I am not, or, is not, etc. etc.
There have been bulk waste days where my sister and I have driven' around town for a couple of hours just lookin'. It is amazing what people will throw away. I know that from my great bulk waste escapades. LOL
Ok, so fast forward to this week. My hubby went to pick up our granddaughter of 15 the other night. She was talking to her mom about the winter formal. She was saving her hard earned nickels and dimes to buy hair accessories for the upcoming winter formal and wanted a pact with mom. She would save and mom would supply a matching amount. She told mom she did not care about the dress so much, but, would be happy to shop for a special dress for the prom instead. LOL As they were leaving to come back to our house my daughter heard my hubby tell her he thought it was time for him to take her to look for a winter formal, and he would take her dumster divin'.
I still laff so hard when I think of what must have been the horrified look on her face. what a hoot!~
I am posting this one for the kids and grand kids alike.
Friday, June 18, 2010
Babysittin Dixie...LOL
Sis is going out of town for the weekend and Ric is still at church camp. Dixie, Ric's little teacup yorkie is here again for a couple days. I am rotating the dogs. Got Noodle in the bedroom, and our big dog, Lady Bug is out back and in and out of the garage for a few hours. Lady is big and scares Dixie, Noodle is old and cranky with her.
I had BoBo all day yesterday so I didn't get a thing done. I am doing laundry and listening to the news to catch up on current events. There were six or seven earthquakes in Indonesia this week. I hear about all the signs we are being hammered with and I am reminded we really are living in the last days.
I am heartsick like so many others over this epic oil crisis in the gulf. My heart goes out to the people, the wildlife and the aquatic creatures. I know that we were given dominion over the earth and all the creatures. It is enraging that mankind can create this kind of devastation on this our good earth. It is truly amazing what God allows. And, people wonder if he exists or if he loves them. Mind boggling!~
I have a very special book to read in the coming days. It is titled "The Apostolic Life" by David K. Brennan. Pastor loaned it to another member and I saw it laying in the pew when he was to return it. I was blessed that Pastor stopped just then and I got permission to read it too. :) Good spiritual guidance books aside from the Bible are hard for me to find.
I had BoBo all day yesterday so I didn't get a thing done. I am doing laundry and listening to the news to catch up on current events. There were six or seven earthquakes in Indonesia this week. I hear about all the signs we are being hammered with and I am reminded we really are living in the last days.
I am heartsick like so many others over this epic oil crisis in the gulf. My heart goes out to the people, the wildlife and the aquatic creatures. I know that we were given dominion over the earth and all the creatures. It is enraging that mankind can create this kind of devastation on this our good earth. It is truly amazing what God allows. And, people wonder if he exists or if he loves them. Mind boggling!~
I have a very special book to read in the coming days. It is titled "The Apostolic Life" by David K. Brennan. Pastor loaned it to another member and I saw it laying in the pew when he was to return it. I was blessed that Pastor stopped just then and I got permission to read it too. :) Good spiritual guidance books aside from the Bible are hard for me to find.
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Spiritual Awakening
For the last five years I have been back in church. For the first two of those years I attended a non-denominational contemporary church because my son and my daughter were taking my grandchildren there. It was a very nice church and the pastoring was very inspiring and as close to Biblical as I thought it could be. I was raised Baptist and while this was not a Baptist church the teachings seemed relevant and very good.
I tried time and again to get my sister to go to church with me. She did attend one of the women's ministry meetings with me. But, that was the extent of her desire to participate. Then three years ago, around the Fourth of July, I came home one Saturday afternoon and found a church flyer on the porch. I could see young people up and down the streets leaving them on doors. It was so hot and I was so impressed with that group of teenagers. They could have been doing any number of things on that hot Saturday afternoon. Yet, they chose to do a faith based outreach. It was touching.
Later in the evening my sister called and was telling me about the kids passing through her neighborhood that day. She was curious about this church and asked me to go with her and see what it was like. I was thrilled and was more than ready if it meant she would get back in church. So, we made our plans and attended Sunday morning service. I would probably have attended almost any church to get my sister off her duff. Things were really bad for her and I knew how much it would help to find a place to fill her heart with his peace. I had found something that was helping me.
I was however, a little apprehensive about this plan. It was a Pentecostal church and I was raised to believe certain things about those pentecostal people. I figured I would go a few times until she was more comfortable and then return to my little church. She attended a Pentecostal church years ago and said it was the only denomination she would really feel at peace with if she attended a church.
Growing up Baptist I was firmly ensconced in the idea that the pentecostal people claimed to have the Holy Ghost and they claimed to speak in tongues. Now that,according to the teachings I'd been bombarded with was against all our beliefs. I was taught that tongues were for the early Christians only. I wondered all my life why Jesus would give it to them and not give it to the rest of his followers.
I tried time and again to get my sister to go to church with me. She did attend one of the women's ministry meetings with me. But, that was the extent of her desire to participate. Then three years ago, around the Fourth of July, I came home one Saturday afternoon and found a church flyer on the porch. I could see young people up and down the streets leaving them on doors. It was so hot and I was so impressed with that group of teenagers. They could have been doing any number of things on that hot Saturday afternoon. Yet, they chose to do a faith based outreach. It was touching.
Later in the evening my sister called and was telling me about the kids passing through her neighborhood that day. She was curious about this church and asked me to go with her and see what it was like. I was thrilled and was more than ready if it meant she would get back in church. So, we made our plans and attended Sunday morning service. I would probably have attended almost any church to get my sister off her duff. Things were really bad for her and I knew how much it would help to find a place to fill her heart with his peace. I had found something that was helping me.
I was however, a little apprehensive about this plan. It was a Pentecostal church and I was raised to believe certain things about those pentecostal people. I figured I would go a few times until she was more comfortable and then return to my little church. She attended a Pentecostal church years ago and said it was the only denomination she would really feel at peace with if she attended a church.
Growing up Baptist I was firmly ensconced in the idea that the pentecostal people claimed to have the Holy Ghost and they claimed to speak in tongues. Now that,according to the teachings I'd been bombarded with was against all our beliefs. I was taught that tongues were for the early Christians only. I wondered all my life why Jesus would give it to them and not give it to the rest of his followers.
Never mind the fact that in the course of my adult life I had visited Church of Christ, Methodist, Freewill Baptist, Episcopal, and even took catechism in the Catholic church for a time. I was a seeker. Some will say that kind of person just hops from church to church. But, there always seemed to be something critical missing. I would find a sense of peace and the worship was sometimes beautiful. I got some great Biblical teachings. I knew I had been touched and felt his touch many times, but I could never get past the feelings of unworthiness. I never felt the feeling of forgiveness. The guilt and shame always lay just below the surface. Something was always lacking in me or in the church and I knew it.
Salvation in a Baptist church at the age of 13 was beautiful. But, over the years I knew something was missing in me. I would feel the touch, the move of his spirit and then in no time I was floundering spiritually once more. That was how I lived over the years as I tried one denomination after another.
I was in that church that first Sunday and I knew within just a few minutes they had something special. The praise and worship during the music was filling my heart with longing and need. I was reaching out to him and the people in that church were doing it too, right out loud! I could hear people praying and I too had my hands raised praying silently.
I know that He hears our prayers when we pray silently, but, there was something so powerful in the outright prayers of these people. It carried me home and back again, time after time. I was seeking with all my heart. When the Pastor approached me and talked about the Holy Ghost I was a bit confused because of former teachings. But, I kept listening and learning. I was still reading my Bible daily, but, this time, I was finding that my understanding was growing by leaps and bounds. I started to understand Acts chapter 2.
With the help of Pastor Bowman, Brother Roberts and the women who surrounded me in prayer, I finally prayed, (out loud) and prayed through and got the Holy Ghost. It is the most incredible, amazing, peace filling, happy, extremely joyous feeling I have ever known. I was so filled with the Holy Ghost and started speaking in tongues. My entire body felt warm and at peace, relaxed and joyful. I even had revelations during my second experience. But, that is a story for another time. But, I knew Jesus so intimately in that one instance and I knew he was living in me. I was down in front of the altar. I looked up and around and my Sister was several feet to my left and she had renewed her gift of the Holy Ghost at the exact same time. She was standing there reaching to the heavens and praying in tongues. It was amazing!~
All my life I had tried to be good to people, do good works, pray and seek, all to find that something was still lacking in me. I was a sinner and the shame and guilt was there like a great shadow making me feel unworthy. Now I know without question that he died for me, for you, for all who will seek his face. I have found his grace in full, and it is the thing I cherish above all else. This experience was my greatest blessing in life.
I decided to get baptised. Again. Ihad been baptised in two other churches. BUT!~ But, this time, when Pastor said the words, " In Jesus Name", I felt the washing away of my sins. I came up out of the baptistry with my entire body tingling and I knew as I stood there I was a new creature and that I was washed and made whole. Made whole!~ Whole for the first time in my life. Joy filled my soul again, and I was walking on the moon. God is good and I try and encourage my loved ones to seek his face.
And without faith it is impossible to please him, for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him. Hebrews 11:6
If you are reading this I will say again; I started this blog so that if I pass on, my children and grandchildren will have something to turn to in my absence. It is my greatest desire that they seek his face by going to church and reading the Bible. But, my mother wished the same for me. I went to church after church, fell and stumbled and lost my way so many times. I know how hard it is to find your way in the midst of the darkness and confusion this life creates. The battle rages for every soul and every life.
Most churches don't preach the Holy Ghost experience and talking in tongues is considered taboo in most of todays churches. But, I would rather lay down and die than deny what I have been blessed with. I have been touched and filled by my Jesus and life is worth living. "Because He lives I can face tomorrow." Words from an old song. Words I now live by.
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