We're all on the outside sometime somewhere...

Ephesians 2:19 (King James Version)
Now therefore ye are no more strangers and foreigners, but fellowcitizens with the saints, and of the household of God;

I was talking on the phone with a very good Godly lady friend over the week-end and we shared about those moments when you feel excluded. I was surprised when she told me that a young couple I know from her church got married. I did not know they were dating. I told her I was not part of the "loop". She told me she doesn't do Facebook because she sometimes felt excluded by various people. I told her I know all about feeling excluded. As a small child I learned that I did not totally belong to the white world, nor did I totally belong to the American Indians either. I am a half-breed. Back in the late 50's and early 60's that was almost tantamount to being black. I know that black people, or should I say African American, (don't know the pc term of today), have borne the burden of exclusion since early Biblical times. Heartbreakingly so.

I was born into a rural area of very poor white and Indian residents. Living miles apart there was a certain friendliness,borne of necessity, but, the social and cultural barriers were very real. I say necessity because in rural areas back then and even now, when times are hard or crisis hits you MUST rely on, and reach out to neighbors if possible. Some will ignore the social and or cultural barriers and do the right thing, the neighborly thing. Others will will stand staunch in their attitudes of division and indifference. I suppose this is true in cities as well, where large numbers of people are packed into smaller living areas too.

My feelings of exculsion occurred with children, and adults, from both sides of my families. Child taunts and comments, I now know were the direct result of their parental experience, and or social environment. It is so amazing to me in today's world to see countless people trying to research and develop their genealogies to clarify and document Indian heritage. wow!~ Sometimes it is almost comical. It is so mind boggling to meet so many people who will tell me they are the direct descendant of some Indian princess. Or so they've been told. The need to belong, the desire to belong, the longing for feeling a part of, is inherent in the human condition.

But, even with all the strides made in social equality when I walk into a room, I am not white in a room of white people. And, I am not Indian in a room full of Indians. I have experienced this in all aspects of living from the workplace to churches. And, sadly to say with the two families with whom I am related. I never quite belonged. Today at the age of 58, I am no closer to most of my family members on either side than I was years ago. I was never around many of my Indian relatives much while growing up. My sister M has the same problem as her situation was very similar to mine. I did not send out more than a handful of Christmas cards this year. I was too caught up in my personal drama to care. But, I realized it didn't really matter. I have no contact throughout the rest of the year, so, it is silly to stick out an olive branch once a year and get no response. And, I am ok with my decision. After all these years I am quite happy with my life as things are and my husband and children, are my world.

But as to the feelings of exculsion I have come to realize that everyone can have feelings of being on the outside depending on where they are at any given time. A white person in a room full of Asians, or Indians, or Blacks would or could feel excluded and visa versa. The same goes for people of a certain profession. lol. A prostitute would feel excluded in a room full of legal secretaries. A lawyer would feel excluded in a room full of wild-eyed, raucous bikers. A biker would feel excluded in a room full of white collar professionals and so forth. lol

So what am I driving at? All this babble about feelings of exculsion. Simply put, we all have hope in Jesus. I belong to him. His heart belongs to me. Even in a church where I don't know anyone and I may or may not ever get on a personal level with most of the people there, I still belong to the body of Christ.

There are churches that for whatever reason, be it social, cultural, physical, financial, or even differences in doctrine, or spiritual beliefs, I could never fully belong to the individual members and their given lifestyle, I am at one with my God. This is so crucial. It is the one true thing. This is the reason we are all here. I believe that the sense or feeling of exclusion is allowed to perpetuate itself so that if we are seeking him, truly seeking him, we will find that oneness with him. I fought so hard emotionally to find this place. In spite of exculsions, or whatever, I just keep seeking his face. Even when I felt excluded within a given church structure and it happens. I just kept seeking is face.

Hebrews 11:6 (King James Version)
But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him.

Romans 8: 1
There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.

Most of us when we experience the feeling of exclusion, tend to look inward. What is wrong with me? Why am I not a part of the group or experience? etc. But, if we are in Christ and not living for the world, and truly seeking to grow in spirit will reach the point where the feelings of outsiderism (my term), or exclusion, find that it no longer matters if "they" want a relationship with us. Oh yes, we are to be there for each other but, to fully rely only on him. This is a hard place to get to without a lot of prayer and serious study of his will for our lives.

1 Corinthians 12:27 (King James Version)
Now ye are the body of Christ, and members in particular.

This is not to say we should not turn to other church members or other Christians, because we should. But, just not to expect them to be perfection in every given situation. Because With prayer requests alone, a church can see a person through a crisis. A given ministry within a church group can be the crucial thing to emotional survival and physical well being. Such as a women's ministry for a mother in need, or a youth group or the men's ministry, etc. A Pastor within a church cannot be all things to all people. He is only human and as such, while called by God to lead, is still limited by the human condition. As we all are.

I Corinthians 12:26 (King James Version)
And whether one member suffer, all the members suffer with it; or one member be honoured, all the members rejoice with it.

I write this for my daughter and my sister. I hope and pray that when the time comes they will find this bit of thought processing to be helpful. I leave this as a prayer of words from St. Paul, for them, and the good Godly women, who are and have been examples of his love for me.

Philippians 4:3 (King James Version)
And I intreat thee also, true yokefellow, help those women which laboured with me in the gospel, with Clement also, and with other my fellowlabourers, whose names are in the book of life.